About Last Night
by EternallyCullen
Summary: Drabble(ish) "Last night, I got my best friend drunk, and we slept together. Last night has changed everything. Those stupid feelings I had for him have now grown ten-fold" BxE, AH, High School.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone! Long time, no see! Something slightly different from me! I've lost my writing mojo and have decided to attempt one of these little drabbles to get it back again – so please don't worry, my other stories WILL be back shortly._

_I've been a little busy – just before Christmas I gave birth to my daughter (who we named Isabella Rose), and then she caught RSV and ended up back in the NICU as well as having a tough pregnancy. It's been a long ride, but we're on the home stretch now and Bella is doing really well._

_So on with the little dribble drabble. I'd appreciate a review – let me know if you love or hate this idea._

**About Last Night**

**Chapter 1**

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><p>He's lying beside me, his brow furrowed as he sleeps. His mouth is open slightly as he breathes slowly in and out. The rhythm is almost hypnotic.<p>

His hair is scruffier than usual. Of course, I've seen his _bed hair _before, but this is something different. You know the term _sex hair_? Well, I'm assuming that this is it – Not that I have that much experience in that field – but his hair looks as though I've been sitting and grabbing it all night long.

All night.

All night.

All night.

I had better make the most of these last few moments, because what we did; well, it's going to change everything between us.

He looks like he's about to stir. He licks his full, pink lips and rolls over, taking the pillow with him as he moves away from me. I can no longer see his beautiful face.

Last night, I got what I wanted.

I had hoped; that doing _that _would have got it out of my system, so I could move on.

Last night, I got my best friend drunk, and we had sex.

Last night has changed everything.

Those stupid feelings I had for him have now grown ten-fold.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I am Bella Swan, eighteen – and I'm unconditionally and irrevocably in love with my best friend. And my best friend was so drunk, that he probably doesn't even remember it.

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><p>Follow me on Twitter (at)EternallyCullen and on Facebook - Eternally Cullen-Fanfiction - and please do let me know what you think.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews so far – glad you're enjoying it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. *sniff*.

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><p><strong>About Last Night.<strong>

**Chapter 2.**

He's never going to remember. He's just going to wake up with _the _headache from hell after consuming five too many beers. He's going to roll back over and see me in his bed.

It's not like we haven't been here before. Edward and I have ended up in the same bed together since we were five years old. We've been best friends that long, and over the years we've grown so comfortable with each other. It wouldn't even bother him that I'm just in a camisole and panties. It's nothing he's not seen before.

I had it all planned out; We'd have some beer, hang out and then he'd drink more and more. I would be pretending to drink. We'd hang out, talk some. Perhaps a little truth or dare. I would make sure that he was inebriated, yet coherent, and then ask him to take me.

And take me he did. It was fumbled. It was sloppy and it was hurried.

It was amazing.

I shiver as I remember the touch of his hands, fingers and his lips in just all the right places. The way he panted as he hovered over me, his breath washing gently over my face. His eyes as they bored into mine as he thrust in and out of me. The way he groaned as I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him harder into me, meeting his thrusts with my own.

I exhale and attempt to control my breathing. Perhaps I should have actually been drunk. Remembering the wonderful moments from last night is causing me much more pain than I anticipated. I'd hoped that the longing would go away, and that one night of lust was all I would need to get over him... to move on.

Tears sting my eyes. I've gone about this all wrong. At least if he doesn't remember it, it will be easier for me to move on... pretend it never happened.

I'm petrified to remember and terrified to forget. I know that I have basically ruined the best relationship in my life. One night of stupidity. Selfish stupidity.

If he ever finds out that I planned this, then I'm screwed. If he ever finds out my feelings for him, then I will die of embarrassment.

**2001 – aged 9**

"_Hey, Edward?" I ask as I pushed my toe through the sand. We were on vacation with Edward's parents, Esme and Carlisle. California was awesome. A total change from rainy Washington. _

"_Uh huh?"_

"_Who do you want to marry when you grow up?"_

_He stopped and plopped down onto the sand and looked up at me, squinting in the bright sunlight. He pulled at my hand so I sat down beside him. _

"_No one, I don't want to get married."_

_I cocked my head to the side, confused. "Why not?"_

"_I dunno, mom and dad are sort of gross, they kiss all the time. Dad must have cooties, like real bad." _

_I shrugged. "Maybe that's why he's a doctor? So he can make the cooties better?" _

_Edward nodded in agreement but grimaced as he looked out onto the ocean. "I'll marry you if we both get really old and you're not married, Bella." _

"_Really?" _

"_Yeah, I guess. You're the only girl I know who isn't gross. You're my best friend. You're like a guy like me." _

_I didn't know what to think of that at the time, apart from the fact my best friend had agreed to marry me if I'd not found anyone. _

"_So when?" I asked him. _

"_How about, when we're forty. If you don't get married by then, I'll marry you and we can be friends forever. Deal?"_

_I took a moment to think about it. It sounded like a pretty good deal to me. _

"_Thank you, Edward." I whispered to him as I looked out towards the water. I so badly wanted to reach my fingers across the sand and hold his hand. I didn't though, in case he thought I was weird. _

"_Edward?"_

"_Yeah?" _

"_You really mean it when you say I don't have cooties?" _

"_You don't have cooties, Bella. Not yet."_

**2012**

It's a long time till we turn forty. Edward is a hell of a catch. He's utterly gorgeous. His once ginger hair is now more copper; he had the most beautiful green eyes and a totally lick-able jaw. He works out a lot and is about to follow in his father's footsteps and in a few short weeks and is moving onto college. He's going to be a Doctor.

Edward is the smartest guy I know. The smartest and most beautiful guy.

I hope he doesn't hate me.

He rolls over and groans a little, his eyes screwed shut.

"Jesus... Ooh, God, my head."

I roll back over so that we're facing each other. Edward peeks at me through slits of eyes. "Oh my god, how much did I drink?" he asks me, his voice croaking. "Fuck," he moans as he buries his head back into his pillow.

_Please don't remember, please don't remember. Please don't remember._

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><p><em>Please press that review button :-) <em>


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks so much for all the reviews and to each and every one of you who have added this to your alerts already... plus for all the re-tweets and Facebook sharing.

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Twilight.

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><p><strong>About Last Night. <strong>

**Chapter 3.**

**EPOV.**

_Oh holy shit, my head. _

_How much did I drink?_

_Oh, God, the light is so bright. _

It hurts just to roll over. My head is pounding. I've never been so hung-over in my life. Not that I usually drink much... but last night I sort of stopped counting at _Coors _number eight.

I manage to mumble something about my head again and feel the bed shift beside me. I manage to crack my eyes open slightly, the bright light causing my head to pound some more. I settle my eyes on Bella as she stares at me. She looks far better than I feel.

"You okay?" She asks me.

I can't help but chuckle. "How much did I have to drink last night?" I ask her, my throat feeling like sand paper, and tasting like I'd eaten a dog-shit milkshake. I try and turn my head away from her, not waiting to subject my friend to my rancid morning breath.

Bella appears to relax somewhat and settles into her pillow. "I have no idea." She whispers slowly as she pulls the comforter up and over he shoulders.

"I feel like Hell." I admit to her.

Bella pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes look anywhere but at me – which is pretty hard as we're laying about a foot away from each other. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let you drink so much."

"Don't be silly," I tell her as I rake my fingers through my tangled hair. "I should know better. I should know when to stop. I'm the one that's sorry. I bet I like passed out on you or something."

Bella doesn't say a word. I'm about to apologize again for falling asleep on her when she rolls over and slowly sits up. She leans over and retrieves her sweater off the floor and pulls it over her head. She scratches her head and smiles at me. "Really, Edward, don't worry about it. I don't mind." She smiles weakly at me as she picks up her jeans and heads towards the bathroom. "You really don't remember much, do you?" she asks me.

I shake my head. "I don't remember how I got into bed; I don't remember how many beers we had... I do recall pizza..." My stomach began to churn at the thought of food.

Bella smiles at me and shakes her head. "I'll just finish getting dressed and then I'll bring you some water. And really, Edward, don't worry about it. Think of today... this morning as... preparation for the hangovers you are going to endure over the coming years at college."

She vanishes into the bathroom and quietly closes the door behind her. I roll back over in bed and pull the pillow over my head. My whole body aches, my muscles feel tight, like after a hard work out.

_I'm never drinking again. _

I try and man up and toss the pillow away and try to sit up. I need to be a man about it, because if this _does _happen again once I'm at Dartmouth in a few short weeks, I'm going to need to be able to get up and make it to my classes on time.

I throw back the sheets and slide to the edge of the bed.

Hold up...

_Why the hell am I naked?_

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><p><em>Uh oh... what's our darling Edward thinking? <em>


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer - I'm just playing in her sandbox for a while. _

_AN: Probably the last update of the day as my small people are now awake and home from school etc. I'm going to update this pretty often - that's the joys of shorter chapters. I don't have a plan of when I update, so it's going to be "as and when". _

_Enjoy and please let me know what you think_.

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><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter 4**

**BPOV.**

I feel relieved as I shut the bathroom door. I lock it behind me and lean gently against the wall. Relief is closely followed by something else.

Disappointment.

Then sadness.

Edward didn't remember.

_Suck it the hell up, Bella. This is what you wanted. Now you can finally move on. You can pretend that it's all okay, everything can go back to the way it was. You get to still see him without it being too uncomfortable. _

_He will never know what you did to him. What you did is wrong. You got him drunk and had sex with him. _

I mentally scald myself... if the roles had been reversed, surely it would be considered that I was taking advantage... I knowingly used him for sex. I _used _him to satisfy a selfish need. My hands fly to my face and cover my mouth as I start to quietly sob uncontrollably. Did I attack my best friend? I can't even bring myself to even think of the _other _word.

So I hate the fact that he was so drunk that he can't remember it, yet I hate the fact that he doesn't remember it. Even though he seemed to know what he was doing. He didn't break eye contact with me; he looked at me the whole way through, from start until the moment he buried his head against me as he climaxed.

I slide to the floor and try and pull myself back together. I can't go back out there looking like this, Edward will know something is up, and I'm crap at keeping things from him. He will bug and bug me until I come clean and tell him what's on my mind. He's good at that. Edward is such a good listener.

He'll never know that he's the one that took my virginity. _He didn't take it, Bella. You forced it upon him; he didn't know what he was doing. _I'm just glad that he's been with girls before. I'd feel even worse if I'd taken something that special from him, so selfishly.

I exhale sharply and get to my feet. I quickly use the toilet and wash my face and hands and finally pull my jeans on. I smooth my hair out in the mirror and rub the last remnants of yesterdays eyeliner and mascara off my face.

His voice through the door, still croaky makes me jump. "Bells?"

"Yeah?" I reply, shakily.

Silence for a moment.

_Shit. _

"Edward?"

"Oh, no, don't worry, I was just making sure you're okay... and... and that you're not feeling sick or anything."

_Why would I feel sick? Oh, that's right... hangover. _

"I'm okay, I just have a bit of a headache, I'll be out in a minute and I'll fetch you that water."

"Okay, as long as you're alright."

"I'm fine," I squeak. "Honestly. I'm okay." And I'll have to be, I have no choice about that.

I grab two glasses off the counter by the sink and run the cold tap for a few seconds, until it's almost ice cold, and fill the glasses.

I take one last, calming breath and unlock the bathroom door and head back into the bedroom. Edward is sat on the edge of the bed wearing a pair of ancient, light washed jeans and he has his head in his hands.

"You sure you're okay?" I ask him as I hold out the glass. He meets my eyes and smiles. He looks tired and a little lost as he takes the glass and downs it in one.

"I'm good, just need to get up and get moving." He smiles at me as he stretches to put his t-shirt on. It's the gray one I got him for his birthday back in June. It looks good on him. He stands and stretches once again and I feel the need to avert my eyes as he does so in fear that he might catch me _checking him out. _It just seems to wrong to do so.

I want him so much, and after last night... well, my feelings are so much deeper. But then again, so is the fear.

He reaches out and grabs my hand and I instinctively pull away from him. His touch is so hot that it burns. His eyes flash to mine.

"I'm fine, it's nothing..." I blurt out, shocking him – which is understandable, seeing as he'd not asked me anything. "I just didn't sleep very well... you... you..."

"I what?" he presses.

"You... well, you snore when you're drunk, Edward." I lie to him, my face blushing beet red.

"I do?" He asks me, sounding shocked.

I nod. "Yeah, you do. You're real loud. I feel sorry for your room-mates at Dartmouth. They're going to be banging on your walls asking you to keep it down." I tell him, trying to keep conversation light hearted.

It's hard being light-hearted when you're so heart-broken.

"Anyway, I'm... I'm going to get out of your hair. I told my dad that we'd have lunch together, and we both sort of slept kind of late."

Edward nods and reaches over and silently grabs some socks out of his top draw. I spot the newly opened box of condoms and look away, praying he doesn't notice them. He silently pushes the drawer shut and pulls the socks on before answering me.

"Okay, well... I'll see you later on in the week."

"Sure, I'll text you. We can go get coffee on Tuesday or something?" I suggest.

"Sure." He says.

He's not made eye contact for a while and he is now picking some fluff off his sock.

"Okay, well, I'll talk to you later."

I grab my phone off the bedside table and my bag off the floor before slipping my Chucks on and heading for the door.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry... you know... for... well... snoring."

"Don't worry about it, Edward."

I leave the room and see nothing but a blur as I make my way down the three flights of stairs and out of the front door and out of the Cullen house.

It's never going to be the same again.

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><p><em>Please let me know what you think :-) <em>


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Twilight. I do have three under fives who have been very patient with me whilst I dribble out this drabble and hug baby-Bella for me.

Thanks so much for all the reviews - am loving you all loads right now!

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><p><strong>About Last Night <strong>

**Chapter Five. **

**EPOV. **

I don't understand why I'm naked... okay, well, I do. I was so fucking plastered last night that I totally embarrassed myself – and Bella, by getting into bed, totally butt naked. I probably ended up waking her up with my morning wood pressing into her back. No wonder she wanted to get into that bathroom as quick as possible.

I grab a clean pair of boxers and quickly slip them on, and pull on my distressed jeans and return to sitting on the edge of the bed to nurse my still-pounding head.

I close my eyes tightly and swallow the bile as I try and think back to last night. Past the beer... past the pizza – which feels like it is going to make a second appearance pretty damn soon... past more beer. We watched some television. We waved goodbye to my older brother and his girlfriend Rosalie as they were going to a club. Mom and Dad were already out at a hospital function – which left Bella and I home alone on a Saturday night.

Bella stays over here almost every weekend so we can hang out. Her dad, Charlie, usually works the night shift at the Station at the weekends, so she comes here more for her own sanity – and we just hang out. It's been the same since she moved to Forks when she was seven and my mom used to watch Bella for Charlie when he had to work. We'd become fast friends and inseparable from day one. Nothing ever kept us apart – I'd even ended relationships because they didn't respect that Bella was my friend, so if they wanted to date me, they would have to realize that Bella was my friend, and there was nothing they could do about it. I wasn't about to stop spending time with my best friend because of a jealous girl.

_**2009 – Aged 16**_.

_Bella couldn't relax as she sat on my bed, leaning against the headboard."Do you really think I should be here?"_

_I must have looked at her like she was stupid or something, because she glared at me. _

"_Don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about, Edward."_

"_I'm not, I really don't know what you're talking about.2_

"_Tanya." She said, matter of factly. _

_Tanya was my new girlfriend. We'd been dating – if you could call it that, for about five weeks. "What about her?"_

_Bella rolled her eyes at me. "I know she hates me."_

"_Why would she hate you?" I asked – finding it impossible that anyone could hate my best friend. She was so sweet, and kind... and she'd do anything for you..."_

"_Oh come on, Edward! Wake up and taste the... well... I don't know the rest of the saying, but it's obvious. She ignores me when I'm there, she turns her back on me and drags you off when she sees you with me. She doesn't want me spending time with you. I don't think she's going to like it when she turns up here in an hour to find me in your room, sitting on your bed."_

_It clicked. "Wait... you think she's jealous?" _

_Bella scoffed. "Jealous, of ME? Edward, have you seen her? She's like perfect or something. I don't think she's jealous of me – she has nothing to be jealous of. I do, however, think she doesn't like the amount of your time I take up. All I'm saying is that... well, you know, if you want to spend more time with her, I'd understand. No hard feelings. I know you like her... and you should take her out more. She's your girlfriend."_

_I wanted to grab her and hug her hard. She was so understanding. I would however be having words with Tanya about her hostility towards my best friend. I wasn't going to let her come between us – and Bella was being very gracious about the whole situation. _

"_I'll let you think about it, Edward. I'll get going. Call me later okay?" _

_She packed her school books back into her bag and grinned at me before pushing her pretty brown hair behind her ears. _

"_I'll call you later. Maybe tomorrow we can hang out after school, just you and me, okay? Maybe watch a movie?"_

"_Sure," she smiled as she looked up at me, "I'd really like that... hey, make sure you pick Tanya up for school in the morning. I'll make my own way in."_

_I didn't let her see my face fall as she suggested it. We'd always ridden into school together, and since we'd both got our licences, we had been taking turns to drive into school and pick one another up. I liked the time we spent together. _

"_Okay, yes. I guess that would be the right thing to do."_

_Bella left the house and Tanya turned up later on that evening. Our conversation didn't go too well. She admitted to hating Bella – and she said some unkind things about my best friend. I ended the relationship there and then. Tanya wasn't even upset. She just told me that I was shit in bed, and that Bella and I deserved each other. _

_The next morning I drove to Bella's house and arrived just as she was climbing into her beast of a truck. She looked shocked to see me.. _

"_I broke up with Tanya."_

_**2011.** _

Something under the bed brushes against my bare feet. I lean over and gently tug on it and inspect it further.

Here, in my hand, sitting proudly between my thumb and finger, tied neatly at the top, is a used condom.

"Oh, God..." I whisper.

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><p><em>I think the boy is finally getting it... <em>

_Review? _


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine.

Thanks so much for all the continued support. I'm having a total blast writing this. Cheers for all the reviews!

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><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter 6**

**EPOV**

I look frantically around the room for other signs. Perhaps it isn't mine, maybe it's Emmett's and he planted it here for a joke.

_No, even your brother is not that disgusting, Edward. _

Tight muscles, pounding head. Hair in even more disarray than normal. A very quiet Bella... nudity. It can only come down to one thing.

Bella and I got very drunk and had sex, and judging by the contents of used condom – very successful – and thankfully safe sex – with my best friend.

I realize that she's been in the bathroom for quite a while. It really seems like she's avoiding me... giving me time to get some clothes on. Luckily she had obviously managed to get her underwear back on before I woke up – at least she managed to make things less... awkward.

I can't believe I've taken advantage of my friend. I can't say that it's never crossed my mind. Bella is beautiful. She's amazing and I love her with all my heart... I positively adore her and time and time again, I've wished she was more than just my friend. But she doesn't feel the same way as me. We are friends, always have been.

I'm definitely attracted to her, and I'd be a liar if I said that I sometimes didn't struggle to lay with her in my bed every weekend.

I call out to her, and Bella assures me that she's okay and that she'll be out in a little while. I slowly manage to stagger in my hung-over state to the closet and pull out a clean t-shirt. I quickly find myself back on the bed again as I hear Bella shuffling around in the bathroom and running water. I swallow deeply as I hear her exit the bathroom.

Guilt washes over me as she hands me a glass of cold water. I am finding it hard to look at her. I hate it. I don't want to hurt her. I can't.

_What does she think of me? She probably hates me now... she was... I'm sure she was a virgin. I doubt she wanted it to happen... I was so drunk. Why can't I remember it clearly? _

She backs off as I stand up and put my shirt on; I catch her gnawing at her lip – something she always does when she's nervous, embarrassed or uneasy about something. I reach out and take her hand but she pulls it away quickly. The rejection stings. Bella has never once pulled away from me.

I'm about to speak up when she suddenly, in true Bella form, spews some word vomit. "I'm fine, it's nothing..." She pauses, her hands raking through her messy hair. "I just didn't sleep very well... you... you..."

"I what?"

She chuckles and smiles at me and tells me that I snore when I'm drunk. I can see right through her lies. She's bothered alright, but it's not about my heavy breathing. She's upset about last night. She remembers more than I do.

She won't miss me now when I'm away at school. Just last night we had been joking about the fact that we were going our separate ways – sort of. I am heading to Dartmouth in less than a month, and Bella is staying in here in Washington; because she finally decided what she wants to do with her life. Like her dad, she wants to be a cop – so she has spent the summer working; pushing papers at Forks Police department, and she's going upstate to the Academy in five weeks time. She's going to be an awesome cop.

She jokes with me about my new room-mates complaining about the noise, it just all seems so... false. I can see the sadness in her eyes.

She tells me that she has to leave. I look at the clock; it's just a little past eleven in the morning. We clearly had a late night. She has promised her dad she would have lunch with him, so she needs to go. I nod and reach over to grab some socks from my top drawer. My fingers brush up against a box. My previously brand new, unopened box of _Durex _has been ripped open – clearly in a hurry as there isn't much of the box left – and usually it's stuffed right at the back of the drawer.

My thoughts have been confirmed once again.

I had sex with my best friend. I've ruined everything. She knows something. I still can't remember.

We agree to meet up during the week and she leaves faster than she ever has before. As I hear the front door open, I get up and walk to the window. She rushes to her truck and I watch her as she climbs in. I watch as her shoulders slump and she rests her head on the steering wheel, and even from here, behind glass, I can see her shoulders shaking.

I've made her cry. I've broken my best friend.

I have to remember what happened last night.

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><p>Eep!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I do almost own a ticket to Eternal Twilight 7 which is in 26 short days, at the Hilton Met in Birmingham. Very excited about the fact that I get to meet the lovely Noel Fisher and the gorgeous Christian Camargo (and the cutie pie who is BooBoo Stewart) – AND see all of my special girls.

AN: Wow, over 40 reviews on the last chapter (in 24 hours) – You guys amaze and flatter me. Thank you so much!

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><p><strong>About Last Night <strong>

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV**

I finally pull myself together and make the short drive home. I'm glad that I managed to make a quick get-away, and grateful that Edward didn't appear to see through the fact that I wasn't telling the truth with regards to needing to spend time with Charlie.

Nope, Charlie is out with Billy all day. They've gone fishing. He won't be back until late. At least I can lock myself in the safety of my room and brood without any interruptions from my dad. He and I have been spending a lot more time together since I told him my wish to follow in his footsteps and become a cop. At first he was shocked, as I'd always spoken about being a nurse. He was even more shocked when he realized that I wouldn't be following Edward to Hanover in the fall.

2010

_So, Bells the college applications must be starting to come in now, right? It's just that I've not seen any mail come through. Did you decide to just head to Seattle in the end?" My father, Charlie asked me as I sat down at the kitchen table with him to eat dinner. _

_I placed my fork down on the table and looked up at him. _

"_Bells? How many schools have you applied to?" He pressed. He didn't usually push me for an answer - I must have had my guilty face on. _

"_Actually, I've not applied anywhere." I admitted to him._

_Charlie looked as though steam was about to come out of his ears. "What? Bells, you know that the money wasn't an issue. With your grades, you can go pretty much anywhere you like; I already told you that I will support you."_

_I smiled at him. "Dad, I know you did... but I have been thinking about this for a while now – and although Nursing seemed like the right track to go down... but the more I think about it, there is something else I want to do. Something more... suited."_

_Charlie had a look of anticipation on his face. _

"_I have decided that next year, I will be sending an application to Shelton, Dad."_

_Anticipation turned to shock, he paled and his eyes became glassy. "You... you want to go to the WSP Academy?"_

"_Yes. Well, you know that I can't actually start there until I'm almost twenty... but I was hoping that... you know, until then... I could maybe come to work with you and maybe... well, be your Rookie? Unpaid, of course... it's just that they won't take me until I'm 'of age'..." I trailed off, knowing that I was babbling. _

"_Bells... that... this is incredible. You really want to be a cop?" _

_I nodded and grinned. "Yep, you know we have more in common than we like to think."_

_He reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "I am so proud of you, Isabella."_

_His comment made me blush wildly. It wasn't often that my dad called me by my given name, or complimented me so much. I loved to make him happy. _

"_What does Edward think about all of this?" _

"_He knows, I think it shocked him too, you know, when I made the decision. _

"_I honestly thought you were going to follow him to Ivy League. I heard from Esme that he got accepted into Dartmouth."_

"_He did, and it's going to be weird, you know, not seeing each other every day, but we have Skype. We don't really live in each other's pockets, you know."_

_Charlie chuckled. "You could have fooled me, Bells. You two have been inseparable since I used to send you to the Cullens' when you first moved here."_

_I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. Charlie was still obsessed that even if nothing was going on with Edward and I, we would, one day, end up together. "Shut up, Charlie." I jested. "You know as well as I do, that he's going to go to New Hampshire, meet some blonde medical student, fall in love and... urgh, and excuse me whilst I throw up."_

_Charlie leaned back in his chair and smirked at me. I refrained from glaring and questioning him, as I knew what was coming anyway. "You two will wake up one day and realize that you two are made for each other."_

"_Really, you think that yet you still let me have sleep- over with him every weekend?" _

_Charlie cleared his throat and blushed. "W... well, someone has to give you two a little shove in the right direction. Right?" He stuttered, embarrassment clear on his features. His moustache twitched nervously. _

_I sighed deeply and picked my fork up. "Don't waste your breath, Dad. Edward doesn't think of me in that way. We're best friends."_

_Charlie smirked at me, and then shrugged as he picked up his fork and started to eat his dinner. I knew the conversation was over._

_2011. _

Once Edward goes across the country, things will be much easier. I hope that the distance will ease the pain. The question is, do I talk to him about this before he leaves – or do I just leave it and try and forget it ever happened, and live with the guilt and the pain.

I know that I'll never be able to find someone now – Edward... just being with him has ruined me for life.

I want him to love me so much that it hurts.

* * *

><p>Poor Bella? Just a little, even though she's a very stupid girl? Do you feel for her just a little?<p>

Let me know.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Twilight = Not mine.

* * *

><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter Eight.**

**BPOV**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Last Night... <strong>_

"Want another beer?" I asked him. Edward nodded and grinned through his mouthful of pepperoni pizza.

I crawled over to the side of the bed and picked up another bottle of _Coors _from the cooler and handed it to him. Edward uncapped it and took a long sip.

"You're not having another one?"

I shook my head and waved my still half full bottle at him and took another small bite of pizza. Edward handed me his empty and I put it with the other five bottles at the foot of the bed. I then placed my feet back in his lap.

Edward had a little obsession with my feet – he thought that they were cute. They're pretty small – very small compared to his, and he thought the fact that my second is longer than my big toe highly interesting.

"Cute color," he commented, "brown looks good on you."

I rolled my eyes at him and took a small sip of beer. We settled into comfortable conversation. Edward told me that his parents had finished organizing his accommodation in Hanover – but were still pissed at him for the fact that he didn't want them to buy him a place to live. He wanted to live the real college life and rent with some other students. Esme and Carlisle thought that the idea was ludicrous, but they eventually let him have his own way.

I open my third beer. The slight buzz has started to take over and made me a little more confidant. Edward's fingers are working at my feet, massaging gently. It caused me to moan lightly – I found it somewhat erotic. I closed my eyes and let him carry on but I almost came on the spot when his fingers brushed against my ankles.

"You okay?" He asked, stopping his beautiful ministrations.

"Uh huh."

"It's just... were moaning. It sounded like you were in pain."

_Moaning? Like in pain? Shit. _

"Sorry, no, I just didn't realize how relaxing having someone rub my feet is, that's all. It felt nice, I was almost about to fall asleep." I told him as I stretched my arms over my head.

I look back up and Edward and he was smiling at me, his eyes somewhat glazed over and his head against the headboard.

"I'm gonna miss this." He whispered.

"Miss what?" I asked, needing him to elaborate.

"This." He waved his hand between us. "Our weekends, it's going to be strange... ya know, with me in... in... where am I going? New Hampshire... that's right. And you still here in Forks."

I smiled back at him sadly. "I know, me too. I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss you." I felt my eyes tearing up and I tried to blink them away.

"Come here, Bella." He whispered to me as he opened his arms out. I took full advantage and crawled up the bed and snuggled into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I settled into the crook of his neck. I inhaled slowly, taking in his amazing scent. I felt him press a soft kiss to the top of my head.

"Edward?"

"Mmm?"

"Do you want to play a game? For old time sake?"

I felt him chuckle into my hair. "Truth or dare?"

I hummed in agreement. It had become somewhat of a ritual for us to play that particular game. It usually just ended up being all truths – because it was the only way we could get certain information out of each other. There were some things that usually, we wouldn't share with each other.

"Okay, Bella... you are up first. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," I replied.

Edward stopped and thought for a moment. "Okay... what happened with Seth, why didn't you ask him out after we got Jared off your back?"

I inhaled. I hoped that the day would never come when he'd ask me that question. I closed my eyes and pushed myself gently out of his arms and returned to sitting beside him.

"I heard that he was no longer interested in me... word got around and he... well, he didn't like me _like that _anymore. And he thought that you and I... well... you know."

Last year...

_I'd liked Seth for some time. He was also a senior, but he went to school on the Reservation. We had met when Edward, Alice, Jasper and I hung out at the diner one afternoon. We hit it off pretty quickly and I had a slight crush. I also had thought that maybe having more than a friendly interest in someone would be good for me – and stop me fawning over Edward. _

_Seth was sweet, pretty hot too and had the cutest smile and bright white teeth. All in all, I liked him quite a lot. The problem had been Seth's friend – Jared. Seth's sister, Leah had warned me about Jared and the fact that he was known to be a total player. I wasn't interested in him like that and he was way too cocky for his own good. He kept trying to pursue me however and I was starting to get a little pissed off with it. I'd hoped that taking myself off the market, or so to speak would help him get the message that I just wasn't into him. Edward took it upon himself to volunteer to help me out with that. _

_A group of us met up in Port Angeles for dinner and then a movie. Leah, her boyfriend Jake and a few of their friends tagged along, including Jared. Edward leaned into me and pressed a kiss to my temple and whispered in my ear. _

"_Tonight, Bella, you are mine. Play along and that jerk-off will leave you alone. Think you can do that?" He wrapped his arm protectively around my waist and played with the hem of my t-shirt. His fingers brushed against the bare skin of my stomach and I shivered. _

_We ate our burgers together and made a thing of stealing each others fries. Edward even fed me a few, and I made sure I looked him in the eyes and ate them provocatively, wrapping my lips and a tongue around the potato stick. Edward grinned and leaned in closer, whispering into my ear. "It's working, he's noticed."_

_I glanced over at Jared, who leered at me. I shuddered. "Don't quite think he's got the message." I whispered back to Edward. _

"_He will, don't you worry."_

_When we finished our dinner, Edward led me back outside to the car. We made a point of leaving last and meeting everyone else in the parking lot. Jasper and Alice knew of Edward's plan, so they acted as though our closeness was nothing new. _

"_Yo, Eddie," Jared shouted across the way. "You mind giving me a ride with you? All other cars are full." _

_Edward looked at me and smirked. "Sure. That's okay with you, right baby?" _

"_Uh huh, I guess." I said, smiling at him and then nodding over to Jared – the douche-bag had the nerve to wink at me. _

_Edward pulled me towards his car and instead of opening the passenger door for me, he shocked me by spinning me around and pinning me to the side of the vehicle with his body. He leaned over me and I could smell a hint of chocolate milkshake on his breath. He brought his fingers to my face and tilted my chin up. He smiled at me before slowly leaning his head towards mine. Before I had the chance to breathe, his lips were on mine and his hand moved swiftly down the side of my body and rested on my hip. His lips moved slowly and I could do nothing but respond to him. My hands found their way into his hair and I pulled him down closer and kissed him back. I felt his soft tongue trace my bottom lip and I met it with my own. _

_I wondered if he realized that it was my first kiss. My first real kiss. _

_All too soon, he pulled away. I touched my lips with my fingertips after I got into the car and took my seat. Jared got into the rear and slammed the door. Edward chuckled as she made his way around to the driver's side. _

_Jared never bothered me after that. Then again, neither did Seth. Word got around that Edward and I were either together or screwing – and the boy started to avoid me. Leah tried to convince her brother otherwise but he said that he just couldn't do that to Edward. He didn't believe her. I guess it had been more convincing to people than we'd anticipated. _

Edward rested his head in his hands. "Oh, Jesus, Bella, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. It's my entire fault."

I shook my head. "No, it's okay. I figured afterwards that he wasn't the one for me anyway. If anything, it helped the situation. You stopped me from getting hurt, or hurting Seth." I smiled at him.

His eyes looked panged with guilt and he downed the rest of his beer.

"Edward... truth or dare."

His eyes met mine. "Dare."

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><p>Ooooooooooh<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

I know – I have been a total fail at updating... I've not even had the opportunity to finish my beta'ing duties *hangs head in shame* - But my tiny person, Bella isn't having the best start to her little life at the moment. She's been pretty unwell and we've had FOUR visits to the hospital for blood tests and poking and prodding in the last two weeks alone. She is improving though and has actually gained some weight this week – so even though she's not as big as her brother when he was born, she's getting there.

**Disclaimer**: Twilight isn't mine, but I do own a golden ticket to Eternal Twilight 7 Convention this weekend, where Miss Bella and I get to party with some attractive males and a pretty female from a certain saga of movies.

**Important AN at the end.**

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><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter Nine.**

**BPOV**

_**Last Night...**_

He'd never asked for a dare before. "Okay... I dare you to stop feeling so damn guilty. It was for the best."

Edward nodded. "That was easy."

"Liar." I whispered as our eyes met. Edward leaned over me and cracked open another beer. His eyes looked soft, lazy. Glazed.

"Truth... or dare?" He asked me.

"Dare," I breathed.

"I dare you to get back over here."

I moved across and found myself back in his arms. He ran his right hand up and down my back. Even through the thin cotton of my t shirt I could feel the heat adding fuel to the fire I couldn't put out. "Easy." I whispered. "Your turn."

"Dare."

"I bet you won't do this. I dare you to kiss me, Edward. Like you did that night." I whispered. I looked down at my lap which had suddenly become very interesting. I was waiting to get shot down.

His breathing hitched and he froze for the briefest of moments. I thought he was going to refuse or laugh at me. Slowly, he pulled away and ran his fingertip down the side of my face. His glazed eyes appeared to search mine. I looked up at him and licked my lips.

So gently he moved closer, his lips parted. I could feel his breath washing over my mouth. He smelt like beer, the ocean, and something else – something better. Just... Edward. His lips ghosted over mine, breathy and slow. He moved closer and our mouths met fully and his hands cupped the back of my neck drawing me impossibly closer to him. His tongue probed at mine and they met hesitantly. He tasted amazing. It was even better than I had remembered. I buried my fingers into his messy hair and scratched at his scalp. He pulled me closer and I bravely straddled his lap.

I don't know how long we kissed for, but by the time we pulled away we were both breathless. Edward smiled at me sleepily, his lids heavy.

"I dare you to make love to me, Edward." I whispered.

I didn't give him time to reply as I crashed my mouth back to his, our teeth clashing. I grabbed onto Edward's t shirt and pulled him down onto the bed before yanking it roughly over his head. He allowed me to remove his shirt, his breathing heavy as our mouths parted momentarily. I grabbed his shoulders and he fell down on top of me. He landed heavily and his forearms framed my head. His mouth left my lips and moved to my throat. I couldn't help but to arch into him. The need to have the length of his body was too great and I hitched my leg around the back of his thigh and forced our bodies yet closer.

It felt better than I ever expected. It was although our bodies were made to be aligned with each other.

I reached my hand down and unbuttoned his jeans. I felt his hardness through the denim as I released him. He moaned something incoherently and his hands moved down my body and settled on my hips as he buried his face into my neck. He made no move to continue as I shoved his jeans down a little and ran my fingers over the fabric of his boxer briefs. His shaft twitched under my touch and he groaned.

I moved my hands and hurriedly pulled my own shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor, and I wriggled out of my jeans in quick succession and kicked them away. I wrapped my calf behind his firm thigh once again and urged him closer to me. My feet managed somehow to clumsily push his jeans the rest of the way down his legs.

Edward's kiss was sloppy as his tongue continued to invade my mouth. It was a little wet but he tasted amazing, and the feeling of his hands moving roughly on my hips was better than I had ever expected. I opened my eyes to see his screwed tightly shut. I wished he'd open them and look at me.

I tested the waters and gently thrust my hips against him, my center coming into contact with the tent in his boxers – our two cotton covered organs created a delicious friction as they brushed together.

Edward moaned softly. His eyes remained shut.

I snuck my hand between our bodies and palmed him through his underwear. It was true – Edward Cullen, my best friend, packed some serious junk. He was solid beneath my hand and the heat eliminating from him was almost scorching. I wrapped my fist around him and pumped through the cotton. He moaned again. It sounded like it was in appreciation.

I pushed him away and he rolled over onto his back. I slipped my panties off and threw them to the floor. Edward was just gazing at me, his breathing was labored. His tongue darted out of his mouth and moistened his lips. His chest heaved as his eyes moved across my body.

I hesitated as I moved my hands to the rear clasp of my bra and popped it open. He didn't say a word. He blinked lazily, his lids heavy. I stared down at him for a moment. He didn't say a word or move.

I couldn't work out if he wanted it or not.

I wanted it.

I needed it.

All that I wanted in that moment in time, was, Edward.

I felt slightly dazed by the small amount of beer I'd consumed but it certainly wasn't enough to cloud my senses entirely.

I bit my lip hard and screwed my eyes shut as I contemplated what I was about to do. _He could stop me if he wanted to, right? _I thought to myself as I inched my fingers down his abdomen and to the waistband of his boxers. He was still rock hard beneath them. His tongue darted out once again. I continued.

I pulled the cotton down over his length and slowly yanked them down his legs and exposed him to me.

I looked him in the eyes one last time before hovering over him. _I love you, Edward. _I thought as I took his length in my and made a fist around him and pumped experimentally several times before lowering myself onto him and taking him between my thighs. I pulled him towards my entrance, his erection brushing up against my centre.

I was about to move onto him when I found my head. _Protection, Bella. You fucking idiot. _I leaned over and reached into Edward's dresser. He didn't disappoint. There was an unopened box of _Durex _nestled between his paired up socks. I haphazardly tore open the box and ripped off a small foil packet from the strip. I carefully opened it. I hoped it was as easy as they had made it in sex ed when we had to put them on cucumbers.

I pinched the end and slipped it over his cock and rolled it down his length. It seemed okay – Not that I'd ever had the opportunity to...

Edward's eyes were open once again and he looked up at me lazily. I hovered back over him and moved my center against his arousal once again. It didn't feel as warm with his new covering, but the friction was still perfect. I felt myself grow wetter.

He moved against my heat easily. His eyes fluttered closed as did mine as I began to move and pressing him harder against me. His lips parted and I couldn't keep my eyes off him as I gently and slowly lowered myself onto him.

He slipped in easier than I expected. There was a little discomfort, but I braced myself and stilled for a moment, remembering to breathe. I waited and allowed my body to get used to the invasion. The pain ebbed and I slid myself further down. There was burning, a little stinging which was pretty quickly followed by a pleasant... fullness.

Edward's eyes were closed and his hands moved to my hips and he held me still. My name rolled off his lips in a whisper. His fingers were gentle on my flesh. I raised my hips and lowered myself down again. Edward groaned and his fingers tightened. I moved once more. I rolled my hips and sat back as I took his entire length inside of me.

I used my knees to lift myself off and quickly found a steady rhythm. Edward's hands tightened further on my hips, so much that it began to verge on being painful. He felt incredible inside of me and I felt a tightening in the pit of my stomach which grew with every downward thrust of my hips. Edward was grunting and his head was thrown back.

His body began to tense under me and his hands moved up to my waist, pinching my skin. His eyes opened and he pushed me to the side. I thought he was about to stop, but our bodies remained intimately connected as he rolled us over and covered me with his body. He thrust hard, which caused me to yelp. He tensed some more and buried his face into the crook of my neck and moved against me quickly. My hands pulled at his shoulders, not quite knowing what to do. He was heavy and I was pinned under him as I fought for breath.

He stopped and didn't move for a while. I pushed at him gently and he didn't move. A small noise rumbled in my ear. A gentle snore. Edward was asleep.

I used all my remaining strength to push him and wriggle my way out, taking the used condom with me as his flaccid junk finally pulled out of me. I grimaced at the sight of it and quickly tied a knot in the end and tossed it to the floor.

I looked once more at the man I loved and felt my eyes well up with tears. I sniffed gently and rubbed at my eyes. I grabbed my camisole and panties and pulled them on before getting back into bed and wrapping the bed sheets around myself. Edward continued to snore beside me.

I didn't sleep.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>

Hope you're all paying attention... I have a number of recs for you now.

**Phoenix by LydiaEstelle** – The boy in the dark, waiting to be reborn from the ashes of his past. My Phoenix. (BxE, M) http : / www . fanfiction . net /s /7789048 /1 /Phoenix

**It Takes Two To Teach Love – by TantalizingTwilightFan** - Bella is a newly qualified English teacher and thinks her boss Edward Masen is obnoxious. Is there more to him than meets the eye? Can the pair find common ground or something more? A/H. http : /www . fanfiction . net / s / 7057256 /1/

**Tunnel of Love – By NeonBurning & LissyLock** - "When Bella takes on a summer job at the theme park, Tunnel of Love strikes, but who gets in the way when Bella's love has to leave?" A/H. http : / www . fanfiction . net /s /7422555 / 1 / Tunnel_of_Love

_Now, the important part – these three stories are awesome – and highly under appreciated. Please, if you are looking for something new to read, add these babies to your lists, have a look and please leave them a review. Let them know I sent you._

If you read and review all stories, add them to your list, you are in for the chance to win a **personalised** autograph from the cuteness that is BooBoo Stewart who plays Seth in the Movies. You only have until Friday, so get pimping those stories! I leave for the convention on Friday morning, and will be personally getting a 8x10 signed by BooBoo either on the Saturday or Sunday.

_ All names will be put into a hat and one will be drawn at random. For each story you reccomend or review, I'll give you one entry - so you could, in theory, have THREE! GOOD LUCK! _


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:**_Sadly, Twilight is not mine. _

_And we return - this chapter is slightly more drabble length. The next part is almost done, so the wait won't be as long this time. Thank you for all the reviews and for all the well wishes for Baby Bella. She is doing much better and has started to gain weight. She's fourteen weeks old now and now 10lbs 8oz. _

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><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter 10**

**EPOV**

I watch her drive away. I felt the bile rise in my stomach and I only just make it to the bathroom in time to empty the contents of my stomach into the sink. Even with the expulsion of last nights pizza and beer – I still feel sick to my stomach.

Guilt will do that to a person you know.

I jump into the shower and try and wash my hangover away. I hate that I'm washing Bella off me, but I know it's for the best. I hope she's okay and doesn't hate me as much as I'm hating myself. I've stolen something so precious from her... I think. We must have... but why the fuck don't I remember?

I make quick work of drying myself off and throw my jeans back on and a white t shirt and head downstairs.

I'm in full blown zombie mode when I enter the kitchen. I open the refrigerator and stare at it's contents, trying to decide if my stomach is strong enough to stomach anything.

"Edward, honey?"

I jump as she rests a warm hand on my bicep.

"Sorry, Mom... didn't see you there."

She looks at me with concern, her head cocked to the side slightly, the worry clear in her hazel eyes. "Edward, are you okay? Is everything alright with Bella?"

_Holy hell, can she read minds or something?"_

"Bella?" I ask. I'm a fucking bad liar and my mother can see right through me. She plays along for now though.

"I don't know, she just seemed off this morning. She left in rather a hurry. She didn't even stay for a cup of coffee with me. It was like she wasn't comfortable.

Mom looks sort of hurt. I know it's the case because she and Bella usually spend weekend mornings together after she's spent the night. They're pretty close and I know that Mom considers Bella as her daughter. She always wanted a girl, but instead she was graced with me and Emmett. Polar opposites that we are, I know she had always missed not having a pink bundle. She'd pretty much adopted Bella as soon as she moved to Forks to be with her father.

"Oh, she... erm... she said something about spending some time with Charlie today, mom. Think she was running late. It was nothing personal."

Mom's lips are pursed. _Yeah, she doesn't believe you buddy, nice try. _

"Hmm, okay, well as long as she's alright. Emmett wasn't teasing her again was he? He got back and took himself straight off to bed as soon as he got home. I was worried that perhaps he'd bumped into her on the way down."

"No, I think she was just in a hurry to get home, Mom." I lie, trying to give her a smile. Emmett does enjoy to taunt the both of us. He just doesn't seem to get that when Bella stays here, its perfectly innocent. Two friends, just spending time together... well, until last night, obviously.

_What am I supposed to say. "Yeah, Mom, we got really drunk last night and ended up having sex under your roof. Emmett might go out with Rose to get his, but at least I play safe and get to it here." – Yeah. Right. _

My mother nods and walks away slowly before turning back to me. "You know, if you want to talk about anything, you know where I am."

"Sure Mom, thanks." I tell her. There is no fooling her. She knows something is up. It's almost as though she has some sort of radar.

Deciding that I still feel sick to my stomach and certainly not well enough to consume anything solid, I pour myself a large mug of coffee and decide to retreat back up to my room. I need to figure out what the hell happened last night – and then I need to talk to Bella.

My room still smells like her... I'm used to having her stuff lying around. She has even had her own drawer and her own shelf in my bathroom cabinet for her toothbrush and girlie shit. It's the way we've always been. But this morning something is off. She is everywhere I look. There is a pair of pale blue socks balled up on the floor, my hoodie, which she finally returned to me after about four months is folded neatly over my desk chair.

I see nothing but her. She's touched every single item in this room. She's all over it.

I hurriedly pull at and tidy the bed sheets, trying to get my room into some form of order and pick up the haphazardly tossed clothes. I try to keep busy but it's not working. My mind is working at overtime trying to figure out what the heck happened last night. My stomach is still churning and my head is pounding, but taking over everything is her scent.

Sitting back down on my made bed, I try and concentrate. I close my eyes and think hard. I remember whispers. I remember holding her and pulling her into my lap – which wasn't an unusual occurrence. I remember whispering to each other. I can almost feel the softness of her lips ghosting over mine. I see her eyes, boring into mine as I push into her for the first time.

I can't see her pushing me away.

I don't see her deny me.

I can't hear her say no.

I still can't understand what happened. Did I honestly do that to her. Did I push her into doing something, or was it the both of us. I doubt it would have been something that she actually wanted... but as my friend, she would have told me no...

Unless I scared her.

Unless she didn't _want _to say no.

I have never been this confused in my entire life.

I love her so damn much, and she doesn't know it. And now I've managed to screw everything up. Will anything ever be the same again?

I pick up my phone. No new messages, no missed calls. I open my messages.

**To Bella: **

**Are you okay?**

* * *

><p><strong>He's a silly boy... <strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **Still not mine. Wish it was!

Get me, another update! thanks for all the lovely reviews and alerts. Will try and keep the updates short and regular from now on.

* * *

><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter 11**

**BPOV**

The house is too quiet. Of course it is – I knew it would be. Thinking that I _wanted _to be alone was a bit stupid, because right now, I've never felt lonelier.

Thankfully for me, Charlie has left his messy breakfast bits on the table, the box of cereal is still out and there is a tiny trail of Rice Krispies leading from the box, across the counter to where the bowl is sitting, spoon still resting in it and the leftover milk at the bottom. A lone Krispie floats in its milk pond. Much like myself – just... alone. I busy myself cleaning my father's mess – something which would usually really rile me up – but if I'm honest, I need the distraction.

Cleaning the breakfast things turns into mopping the floor, wiping the counters and even scrubbing the front of the kitchen cupboards. It takes all of an hour. The living room is clean as I dusted and ran the vacuum over yesterday. Damn. It would be pretty fucking pointless to do it again.

I switch on the TV. For a weekend my choices are the odd talk show, Sponge Bob, iCarly or a game. Talk show it is. Maury.

_I had sex with my best friend and he doesn't know he's the father of my two year old. _Is the title of today's episode. I quickly shut the TV off and pick up my book in the hope that reading will keep me busy.

**_2009 – aged 16. _**

"_Edward, I thought I told you not to come get me this morning?" I scalded him, but jumped into the passenger seat of his dad's old silver Volvo. "Not that I mind, you know with the rain... but what about Tanya?" _

_Edward shrugged and rolled the window back up as I fastened my seat belt. "I broke up with Tanya." _

_His comment causes me to stop short, my mouth agape. "Edward... I'm sorry... but why?"_

_He shrugged once again and backed out of the driveway and onto the road as we made our way to the school. "She wasn't right for me; we were never going to agree on certain things." _

_It was clear that he wasn't about to elaborate. I wasn't going to push. "Are you okay?" _

"_Never better," He confirmed with a grin. Something wasn't right, I could tell, but I kept my mouth shut and let him drive to school. We went our separate classes, agreeing to meet in the lunch room, which was our normal ritual. _

_As I was headed into second period, Chemistry, someone pushed past me, which knocked my backpack off my shoulder. I picked it up and followed the long tanned legs, up to what looked like it was the worlds shortest denim skirt. _

"_Oops, freak, did I knock you?" leggy asked haughtily. Tanya. _

"_Tanya." I said as I got to my feet and tried to move past her, but she blocked my way. _

"_You and I need to talk."_

"_We do?" I asked, not quite knowing why on earth she would want to have a conversation with me... unless she wanted Edward back. _

"_You know it. I'm now not getting laid, and it's all because of you." _

_It was? "Excuse me?" I asked._

"_You asked Edward to break up with me. He would do anything for you, but you know it's only because he feels sorry for you."_

_What? _

"_You know what though? The two of you deserve each other. If he's willing to throw me into the trash because of a little freaky virgin like you... but as soon as he's done with you, he'll come running back to me. You will never be able to live up to what I can offer him. _

_I was seriously confused. "Tanya... I... I, I really don't know what you're talking about. Edward and I are friends, that's all."_

_Tanya laughed in my face and brushes past me again before turning back, her golden curls bouncing over her shoulder. "You think you don't? You're both fucking idiots. He's just as obsessed with you as you are with him, although it won't last. Enjoy it whilst you can. He will hate you one day. You're holding him back, Bella."_

_She laughed again and headed into the class room. I didn't understand what she was getting at. Edward didn't think of me like that. Of course, I was crazy about Edward. As well as him being the best thing that had ever happened to me, I loved him... but I was happy just to be friends with him. _

_Would he really have broken it off with his girlfriend for me? _

_Of course, when I asked him about it, Edward denied it. Of course he did. He said that I wasn't to blame myself – and that things just were not working out. That and Tanya was just a bitch anyway. _

_He never did go back to Tanya._

**Present day.**

I can't stop thinking about him. When I think about the past, I wonder if he'd ever felt that way about me. His girlfriends don't stay with him for long, or he doesn't let it pass by the first few dates because he deems them not enough. I know he's only eighteen, with his whole life ahead of him, but the girls at our school used to throw themselves at him, as did the ones from neighbouring towns.

This needs to stop, right now.

We need to talk.

I pull my phone out of my bag and go to open messages, when I see that there is already one waiting for me.

He wants to know if I'm okay.

My fingers hover over the touch screen for a few moments, they're shaking. I'm afraid.

**To Edward: **

**No. I'm really not. We need to talk about last night.**

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><p><strong>Uh oh! <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words: Twilight = Not mine.

**Authors Note: **Slightly longer chapter – this one REALLY took it out of me. Honestly, I'm sitting here sobbing my heart out. So warning, this one is tough, angsty. I don't know who I feel sorrier for. Please let me know what you think.

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><p><strong>About Last Night <strong>

**Chapter 12**

**BPOV**

**To Edward: **

**No. I'm really not. We need to talk about last night. **

I press send.

The little bar on my iPhone moves along and then the little text bubble turns green to tell me that the message has been delivered successfully. It's done and there is no going back. I've just managed to ruin the best relationship in my life. My actions last night were totally uncalled for and I have to take responsibility for them. If Edward hates me, then so be it. I deserve everything I get. I don't deserve to have him as my friend.

I disgust myself.

_Whooosh _says my phone, alerting me that Edward has responded. That was fast, less than a minute.

**Can I come over? Do you want to see me?**

He wants to come to house? He wants to face my whilst I own up for what I did. I honestly don't think I have the strength to look him in the eyes. But I have to. I owe him that much.

**Unless you're busy... I don't know if seeing your dad was just an excuse... **

Oh, he's good. Edward can read me like a book. He knew that I wasn't really spending the day with Charlie. I'm actually shocked that he didn't question it at the time.

I punch a message back to him quickly.

**You can come over, it's fine. Charlie has gone fishing with Billy. Sorry, I guess you realize I lied about that. **

He wants to have it out with me, he must do. I don't know what I'm going to say to him, but I do know that it's going to involve a lot of grovelling, apologizing and most likely, a great deal of crying.

Once again, his reply is fast.

**I'll be right over. **

I don't reply. I can't bring myself to send him just a simple _ok _or my usual little smiley face. No. I will just sit and wait. I can't even bring myself to move.

The clock ticks loudly, it's starting to bug me, was it always as loud as this? It's giving me a headache... or is it my mind working overtime, thinking how the hell I'm going to word this.

_Oh hey, Edward. Yeah, about last night. We had sex... I don't know if you remember, but we like totally bumped uglies. Yeah, I didn't think you remembered, it's because you were completely annihilate. I knew this, and it was because of me. You didn't stop me, but you probably couldn't. Yeah, sorry about that. _

Perhaps not the right way to go about it – although it's the utter truth. It's exactly the way it happened.

_Edward, last night we had sex. I'm sorry. I made you do it... I'm sorry, I'm the worst friend in the world. I needed to see what it was like. _

Maybe not.

_Edward, I'm insanely in love with you. I've been in love with you since we first met when we were seven years old. I know you don't feel the same way as I do, and last night I crossed the line... I know, I more than crossed the line. I violated you. I know you probably hate me, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday, I'll be eternally grateful. _

No... I don't deserve his forgiveness. He's too good for me.

I feel fresh tears pricking my eyes, and I try and blink them away, but it doesn't happen. They start to fall down my cheeks. I can't stop the loud sob that escapes my lips.

_That's it; cry it out like a baby. _

I hear Edward's signature knock on the door. No, I can't let him see me like this. I scrub roughly at my eyes and wipe the wetness on my sleeve. I blow my nose and wipe off the streaming snot. As I jog to the door I check my reflection in the mirror.

I look like shit. _Nothing new there. _

I open the door and step back, opening it wide for Edward. He doesn't come in right away and when I bravely raise my eyes to look at him, he's standing with his shoulders hunched and his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His cap is on his head and he's staring at the wooden slats of the decking.

"Hey," I whisper hoarsely, "you coming in?"

He doesn't say a word, nor does he meet my eyes. He steps into the hall and goes straight through to the living room. I close the door and follow him in. His stance makes me nervous and I wrap my arms around myself.

He finally looks at me; his expression is pained – tortured. I caused that.

He swallows hard. "I didn't expect you to say yes to me coming over." – his voice is barely a whisper. He looks like he's about to cry, his eyes are red rimmed. Maybe he did already – again, that was all me. I made him cry.

"I didn't expect you to ask to." I told him, honestly as I hug my arms tighter around myself.

Edward takes a tentative step towards me but then stops himself and shoves his hands deeper into his pockets.

"Bella... I..."

"Edward," We both say at the same time.

"Please," he whispers, "I have some things I need to say, let me go first."

_Anything you want, I owe you that much. _I just nod so he knows its okay for him to continue.

"Bella, I don't know what to say..."

_Just fucking say it, tell me you hate me, tell me that you know what I did to you and that you hate me, it's going to be easier that way. If you hate me, and then go away to college, it will make it easier. Tell me, Edward. _

"Bella, I'm so fucking sorry."

_Huh? What the hell? _"Ed-"

"No, wait, please let me finish... I need to say this." His tortured eyes bore into mine. "Bella, I am so sorry, last night was all my fault, I don't remember exactly what I did, but I know _what _we did, and I know that you _know _what we did. I'm so sorry for taking advantage of you... please don't hate me."

He thinks that he took advantage of me. He knows that something happened between us, but is blaming himself. He can't remember much so he thinks he pushed me into something. "Edward..." I breathe as the tears flow once again, this time fiercely. I can barely see him. "That's not what happened."

Edward looks relieved for a moment, his stance becomes less tense and he takes a step towards me. I can almost feel the heat eliminating from his body even from his position several feet away from me.

"I didn't?" He asks. "You mean we didn't? But I found the condom..."

_Oh God, here we go. _

"You didn't... we did, but it wasn't you..."

Edward looks confused, his brow is furrowed. "I don't understand..."

I gesture for him to take a seat on the couch. I sit down on the other end of it, my head resting in my hands.

"Talk to me," he whispers.

"I don't know how to say this, Edward." I tell him.

"Just tell me, I hate to see you cry." He reaches for me and I instinctively flinch away. As much as I want to melt into his embrace, I can't. He'll only hate me more and push me away harder when he knows.

"You were drunk... I wasn't. I knew you were and I... it was me, I took advantage of you. I asked you..."

Edward's eyes are wide as he takes in my confession. He pulls his cap off and grabs a hold of his hair. I think he's going to tear it out because he's gripping it so tightly.

He doesn't speak, so I continue. "You didn't say no, but you didn't say yes either. I kissed you, I undressed you and I touched you. I made you touch me. I'm... –"

"What made you do it?" he interrupted, not looking at me. "Did you... did you _plan _it? Bella, what is this?"

I shake my head and try and control my tears. "Not at first... I don't know what I was thinking, but it was all me, I'm so sorry. I took advantage of you... I violated you."

Edward shakes his head. "No... please tell me it's not true. Why would you do this, Bella. Why?"

"I can't do this, I'm sorry, I just... I don't know, something made me do it. We were drinking... well, you were. I only had two beers. We talked, hung out, laughed. Then we played truth or dare, and I just..."

I want to tell him how incredible he is, and how much I love him, but I can't. His eyes are on me now but they are staring and look almost cold. It's chilling.

"I just needed to see what it was like..." I whispered, wringing my hands before resting my head between my knees and trying to breathe. "I... I know that if it was the other way around... I mean if I guy did that to a girl... because I know you would never... I mean... what I did, it's unforgivable... I have violated you... Edward, I _raped _you last night."

There, I said it. I didn't take advantage and make love to my best friend. I intentionally got my best friend drunk, and then had un-consensual sex. I raped him.

"I feel sick..." he whispers, his voice cracking as he rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. I want so badly to reach out and touch him.

"I'm-"

"No, Bella, don't talk to me, you don't get to speak."

I nod and wipe my eyes again, keeping my mouth shut.

"You... you knew what you were doing."

I nod.

"And... I... and if I'd said no?" He turns and looks at me. Now he's crying. It breaks my heart and I can't bare it, but I look right back at him, trying to search out his soul.

"You didn't say no, but if you had, I wouldn't have carried on. You didn't consent. You didn't verbally say yes. You kissed me back... but I initiated it all. "

Edward nods again, he sniffs and tries to fight back his tears. I've only ever seen him cry once before, and that was after his Nana Cullen died when we were ten... this is worse because he's an adult now and I'm the reason why he's crying. "Was it... good. I mean did you _enjoy_ yourself?"

I shrug. Edward chuckles – but it's really not funny, and he knows it.

"What it everything you expected?" He asks quietly, he's looking away again now.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, Bella. You wasted your first time on someone who _was _wasted."

"I know." I reply. "I'm sorry. I feel..."

"No, you don't get to feel. You spent your first time just taking, Bella. What the fuck? If you wanted to have sex, if you wanted me to take you, you should have just told me. You didn't have to get me drunk to do that.".

I look at him, now I'm super confused.

"This changes everything, you do realize that. Nothing will ever be the same again now. I don't know if I can trust you. I feel sick. I don't remember much, but I remember the end part. I remember pushing you back onto my bed, I remember calling out your name as I came. You have ruined it for yourself, Bella."

"I...-" I begin.

Edward jumps out of his seat and starts to pace the length of the living room. "No, shut up, Bella, I'm not done. I'm not fucking done with you. You think it's that simple?" he's yelling at me now, and I'm afraid. He never yells – at least not at me. "I'm going off to college and you're stuck here, I know we're not going to see each other for months... but what did you think you were going to take from this? Did you honestly... Jesus... Bella. I can't even look at you right now."

He turns away from me.

"I don't expect you to, and I know you probably never want to see me again. I made a mistake, and I wish I could take it back. I wish last night had never happened. Really I do, and I take full responsibility. I can't believe I did that to you. I am so _so _very sorry. I know it's over between us now, but please, I beg you don't tell anyone about this. I don't want to go to jail."

He laughs at me. He turns around, moves closer and laughs as his angry tears roll down his cheeks. "You think I'm going to tell? No, this is between you and me. I would have helped you out if you were curious. I get it, you were a virgin. You don't see guys, I totally get that you wanted to try it out, but you wasted it on me. It can't have been good."

I stare at the floor. "It would have been better if you were sober, but Edward, it was... Edward, I wanted it so badly, I wanted _you. _I've wanted you for so long like that. But you're right. Now everything has changed. "

"You wanted me? Wanted me like... like that?" He asks me, his voice softening just a little.

The tears come again. "Yes." I admit. "Edward... I'm crazy about you. I'm in love with you."

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><p>So, she told him. What do you think about his reaction? How do you think he SHOULD feel, giving we already know how he feels about her. Should he feel utterly violated, or just hurt... answers on a postcard please, or press review. I love to hear your thoughts.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words: Twilight = Not mine.

**Authors Note:** I currently have no internet or phone line at home. Some lovely person has decided to steal the underground phone cables and sell the copper – so leaving my village with no contact to the outside world. We can't even use credit cards in the local shop, nice, hey? So not sure when the next update will be – but hopefully it means I can get written ahead with no distractions

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><p><strong>About Last Night <strong>

**Chapter 13**

EPOV

I can't get my head around what she's telling me...

My best friend, the unknowing love of my life, my _soulmate _has just admitted to me that she intentionally got my drunk and had her way with me. I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling. In one respect I am eternally glad that it wasn't I who took advantage of her... but at the same time, I can't stop myself from feeling hurt... disgusted and sort of violated.

My friend... my best friend. The person who I trust more than anything in the entire world, the one person who knows every single last thing about me... _except for the fact that I'm insanely in love with her _– has made a move, and a huge mistake.

My vision blurs and I can't do anything to stop the tears that are building. I blink hard and try and get them to disappear, but they're strong and they're staying. I can't even bring myself to look at her, but I feel her move towards me. She's saying something again, the words are there but I can't figure them out. What on earth is she trying to explain to me?

"You wanted me? Wanted me like... like that?" I ask her, as I finally am able to look at her again. Bella is pale, her brown eyes are wide and her fair skin is wet with tears. She gnaws on her lip, torturing it with her front teeth.

She blinks rapidly and nodes her head. "Yes," she whispers. "I'm crazy about you. I'm in love with you."

I feel sick again. I feel the bile rise and I swallow it. "You... you _what_?" I reply.

She moves closer but for some reason my feet make me step back. Bella stops dead. "I'm so sorry, Edward." She cries.

"How... how long?" I probe, my hands pulling at my hair.

"Too long... as long as I can remember."

I shake my head. _This can't be happening_. She isn't saying this to me, not here, not now... not after... "Bella..."

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, Edward." She sobs, looking away from me and stepping back and sinking down onto the couch.

I start to pace again. I can't take this in. My heart is jumping for pure joy because she pretty much just confessed her love for me, but my head is telling me to not jump in headfirst or too deep, because of what happened last night. She still took advantage... she apparently still _planned _last night to happen in some shape or form.

She didn't _trust _me enough to tell me how she was feeling – although the same can be said for me. I have been just as spineless in that respect.

I just want the floor to open up and swallow me. How on earth could I have let this happen, and if she's been feeling like this for so long, then how in the Hell have I missed it. Bella and I do _everything _together. How could be both be so blind as to not see what has been there staring at us in the face all along.

"I... I'm sorry; I don't know how to do this, Bella." I cry out, pained. I take another couple of steps back and hit my shoulder against the doorframe hard. "Shit."

She moves towards me again but I don't want her near me right now. I'm far too confused. She looks hurt as she slumps back down onto the couch.

"I wish there was some way I could change this," she tells me as she scrubs at her puffy face.

"Change what?" I ask as I rub my shoulder.

"I don't know... everything! Change the way I feel about you? I don't know, change what I did to you last night... yes, of course. Edward, I've made such a big mistake."

"Why... why, Bella... why did you do it? Did you think I'd return the gesture?" I hate how harsh I'm sounding with her, but I can't help but feel just slightly violated. I love her, but she took advantage. We're not _in _a relationship.

_Little did she actually realize before that if she'd come onto me and kissed me when I was sober, I'd totally have kissed her back. And more, if she'd wanted it. _

"You have... I... I don't know if I can trust you... I don't know what you were thinking, Bella."

She looks panic stricken, but she looks at me bravely. "I was hoping I could get you out of my system, Edward. Before you leave me for college. I wanted to see what it would be like to be _with _you. I wanted you to want me too..."

"And how the fuck do you feel now? Better?" I spit.

She shakes her head vigorously. "No, it's made me love you even more. Even now, like this, I love you so goddamn much Edward. So much that it hurts. I'm dying inside.

I really don't know what to say to her. My hands are in my hair again and I start to pace. Bella is furiously trying to blink back tears.

"And you're telling me the truth. Last night... it was entirely you?" She nods. "And I didn't say no?" I prod. She shakes her head. "And I didn't once try and push you away?"

"No, you didn't push me away. You looked into my eyes, Edward, and you kissed me back."

"And was it worth it?"

Her eyes lock with mine as I crouch down to her level.

"At the time, yes. I've never felt so complete. But now all I feel is the pain, I hate the fact that I've done this to you, that I've hurt you so badly. I'm such a bad person."

"This is so unlike you." I tell her.

"I know," she whispers. "I feel like a stranger to myself. I don't understand my actions. It was like my head was telling me one thing, and my heart another."

I don't respond. I want so badly to reach out and take her little hand into my own. I would love to pull her into my arms and tell her that it's all going to be okay.

With all my heart I want to kiss her and tell her that I don't care; because I love her too, and I've loved her since we were tiny little kids, that when my mother used to refer to Bella and I as brother and sister, I used to swear under my breath, because I never wanted that to be true. I want her to be mine. But my mind is telling me it's all wrong.

I'm so torn.

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><p>Eeep.<p>

Little rec for you: Go read: Introducing Isabella Swan: Pornstar by TantalizingTwilightFan. She just posted the final chapter - it's a drabble style story much like this one, and it's OWNED me this week. Remove the spaces http : / www. fanfiction . net / s / 7771342 / 1 / Introducing_Bella_Swan_Porn_Star


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **Twilight isn't mine. I'm just playing in the sandbox for a little while... and loving every freaking moment of it. Lionsgate = GFYS!

**Authors Note: **Thank you as always for all the support and reviews. You make me want to write more!

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><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter 14**

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><p><strong>Bella.<strong>

His face still looks pained. There is an agonizing twist to his gorgeous features. I caused that. This is my entire fault. He's not spoken for a while. The silence is killing me.

_This is so unlike you – _he had said to me moments ago, and nothing since then. I wish there is something I can do.

Edward rests his head in his hands once again and tugs at his hair. He begins to speak and I brace myself for what is coming.

"Shit... I... I need some air, I really need to go."

My fists curl into little balls by my sides, my short nails digging painfully into my palms. I knew it would come to this, I should be prepared.

"I understand," I tell him, because deep down I do. Of course I do; how can I not? I should have prepared myself for this all along – or at least thought this through. Obviously if I had thought it through and come to the conclusion that it would be a stupid fucking mistake to bed my best friend, then clearly I wouldn't be in the situation I'm currently in.

He doesn't utter another word, but he pretty much makes a run for it, not even bothering to shut the front door. All I can do it watch him vanish off the porch and into the rain. The wheels on his car spin violently in the mud as he attempts to accelerate away.

I will not cry... I will _not _cry.

I watch as the Volvo disappears out of my sight and eventually close the door, shutting me off from the harshness of the outside world.

I'm suddenly in that lost place again. I don't know what to do with myself and my heart feels like it's just been torn in two. It feels like a huge hole has been punched in my chest. It's gaping, but I keep reminding myself that it's all my fault.

I wonder how long the pain is going to take to go away. Weeks? Months? Years... will I ever be able to love someone else?

Of course I will – I know that my thoughts are now boarder lining on ridiculous. I'm eighteen years old. No doubt given time, I'll find someone else... that when he comes along, I'll just realize that what I had... or thought I had with Edward was just stupid, teenage puppy love. Perhaps if I keep on telling myself that, then it might happen.

Maybe. Probably not. I know how I feel.

By the time Charlie arrives home, I'm not feeling any more chipper, but I can't show my father that anything is wrong. I'm totally not ready for Chief Swan's rendition of the Spanish Inquisition. Even if I did happen to tell him all the dirty details – which I wouldn't. Eww... he wouldn't accept that it was all down to me, and he'd shove his gun back into his holster and march to his cruiser and race at breakneck speed to the Cullen house and string my... string Edward up by his balls and shoot him.

I wish I had the excuse for homework, but sadly there is none, so have to use the excuse that I wasn't in the mood for _Sports Center _tonight, and managed to get away with going upstairs.

I try to read and get myself lost in some Austen. When that doesn't work I try Dickens. Nothing, zip, nada. Shakespeare doesn't help either. Stories about star-crossed lovers are not appropriate at this time.

I don't know how I'm going to face him.

I flip open my laptop and decide that procrastinating for a while, playing some mindless game on Facebook seems like a good idea. An hour tending to my crops on Farmville passes a little time, but all I keep doing is hovering over Edward's profile, clicking and checking. _Awesome, I'm turning into an internet stalker. _His little online status thingie is green. I know he's here. It would be so easy to just click on his name and open a chat box.

He wanted space. He didn't want to talk to me about it. He needed air.

_But he didn't even say goodbye. _

I'm wigging out. I need to talk to him. My fingers are shaking as I scroll through photos of the two of us together. We look so stupidly happy. In most of them he has his arms around me, my favourites are the ones where he is pressing sloppy, comical kisses to my cheeks and I am glaring at him _pretending _to be grossed out.

To anyone who didn't know us, they would probably assume that I was Edward's girlfriend and vice versa, as we both feature so heavily on each other's profiles. Fuck, we even play _The Sims _on Facebook together.

Shakily, I open up a chat box, but click on his name again so it opens up an inbox message rather than an instant.

_Pussy. _

I swallow, not really knowing what I can say to him... nothing more than what was said this morning that's for sure, but I need to say _somthing._

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><p><strong>Hey, I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now, but I'm happy that so far you've not seen sense to block me on here and out of your life. <strong>

**I just wanted to check that you're okay... which I know if fucking stupid. Of course you're not okay. I'm so mad with myself for even sending this to you because I know you want some space... and hell, I don't expect you to ever want to talk to me again after what I did. **

**I know we covered this already, but I just need you to know that I take full responsibility for all of this. I've upset you. I willingly and knowingly took advantage of you, and although I'm struggling to come to terms with it – I know that through my mistakes, I've gone and lost myself the best thing that has even happened to me. **

**I wish I'd told you years ago how I felt about you, but if I'm honest, I was afraid of losing you. I was scared that you would laugh at me. I would have never expected you to think of me as more than a friend. **

**So what came over me, I guess I'll never know. My gut won over my heart and I made a mistake. I'm sorry. You must feel so dirty right now. I do. I feel like I've defiled you. I can't apologize enough, and I know that there is nothing I can do to make it up to you. **

**I don't expect you to reply to this, but I guess for my own selfish reasons, I needed to send this to you because you just left this morning... you didn't say goodbye. Again, my fault. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve for you to give me the time of day anymore. **

**I am so sorry, Edward. **

**Maybe one day you will want to see me – probably to tell me exactly what you think of me. I accept that and I'll give you anything you want. I owe you that much. **

**Goodbye, and I miss you. **

**Bella. X**

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><p>I read it back and realize what a whiny bitch I'm coming off as... but it's from the heart and I hope to God that Edward will see it like that. I have to send it. I only hope it doesn't cause him to hate me more.<p>

His little online light is still green as I press send.

In some ways, maybe, with him going off across the country to college will make things easier. The pain of separation now is totally different to what it was forty eight hours ago. At least now it will only be one sided. I'll miss _him _and still always regret last night, but at least he will be happy to be away from me.

I want to turn off my computer. I want to shut it down.

His green light is still on. If he's at his laptop he would have seen my message by now.

Have I disgusted him even more? Maybe he just deleted it without reading it.

It's only been three minutes.

I don't even know what I'm waiting for.

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><p><em>What do you think is going to happen next? What is Edward going to think? Press review and let me know, it only takes a moment. <em>


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words – LIONSGATE – GFYS!

**Authors Note: **Uh huh, your eyes do not deceive. This is the second update from me today. I am hoping to get this finish and wrapped up within the next couple of weeks, so I can concentrate on getting my other stories back on track. Donor Wanted, Eyes, Look Your Last etc.

Love to Zoe, Skittle, Elaine and co for all the love today, this one is for you lovely ladies.

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><p><strong>About Last Night. <strong>

**Chapter 15**

**Edward. **

I'm trying to organize everything on my computer – you know, just doing something mundane to keep me busy. Facebook, however, is very distracting. I keep looking at _her _page. She doesn't have appeared to have logged on all day, played her usual games, replied to Alice's post on her timeline, or replied to a few new comments we'd got on a bunch of photos I'd put up and tagged her in last week.

After a couple of hours, the little green circle appears, telling me that she has logged in on her computer. I sit and stare at her profile, clicking refresh several times. She'd been so against getting a profile. She didn't give into me until after I'd made her sit down and make one. Ever since then, she has been addicted to it – although she'd never admit it.

Farmville... Cafe World... The Sims... she liked them all. She has been trying to get me to play Words with Friends with her too, but I tried and she kicked my ass... I didn't go there again.

She's playing FarmVille at the moment. Her newsfeed is going crazy as she harvests all her crops. She even tends to my _farm _for me and I get a little notification telling me so. Usually, even if we've spent a whole day together, we'll get chatting... or taunting each other on here most evenings, but tonight she's silent. It's strange. Horrible.

I'd literally ran out of her house. She'd not called me, or even sent me a text message; my cellphone had remained silent all day. I even tried turning it off this afternoon in case there was a problem and it needed resetting. Only I heard nothing from her.

She's still playing her game. I try and busy myself by organizing photos and putting them into new folders. They're almost all of Bella... Bella and me, Bella and my family... but mostly Bella looking natural – photos taken when she didn't realize... when she was unsuspecting. These were mine though, she didn't know about them. I guess that makes me some sort of creepy-stalker-guy...

I maximize Facebook again and there is a new message in my inbox.

_Please let it be from Bella... she's still online, please let the message be from Bella... _

I click the little red icon at the top of my screen.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now, but I'm happy that so far you've not seen sense to block me on here and out of your life. <strong>

**I just wanted to check that you're okay... which I know if fucking stupid. Of course you're not okay. I'm so mad with myself for even sending this to you because I know you want some space... and hell, I don't expect you to ever want to talk to me again after what I did. **

**I know we covered this already, but I just need you to know that I take full responsibility for all of this. I've upset you. I willingly and knowingly took advantage of you, and although I'm struggling to come to terms with it – I know that through my mistakes, I've gone and lost myself the best thing that has even happened to me. **

**I wish I'd told you years ago how I felt about you, but if I'm honest, I was afraid of losing you. I was scared that you would laugh at me. I would have never expected you to think of me as more than a friend. **

**So what came over me, I guess I'll never know. My gut won over my heart and I made a mistake. I'm sorry. You must feel so dirty right now. I do. I feel like I've defiled you. I can't apologize enough, and I know that there is nothing I can do to make it up to you. **

**I don't expect you to reply to this, but I guess for my own selfish reasons, I needed to send this to you because you just left this morning... you didn't say goodbye. Again, my fault. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve for you to give me the time of day anymore. **

**I am so sorry, Edward. **

**Maybe one day you will want to see me – probably to tell me exactly what you think of me. I accept that and I'll give you anything you want. I owe you that much. **

**Goodbye, and I miss you. **

**Bella. X**

* * *

><p>I read it over again and again. I huge lump forming in my throat and a hole in my chest. It's gaping without her. Is this email her way of saying goodbye to me?<p>

Her words have so much feeling. I can tell that she wants me to know I can get in contact with her, yet she doesn't expect it. Her words, although straight to the point are laced with feeling and guilt.

The fact that she did... that we...

We had sex. It isn't just all on her like she thinks it is. Yes. I was intoxicated, yes, I'm finding it hard to piece together exactly what happened. I don't remember much at all apart from a few flashes here and there. I remember burying my face in her shoulder when I came... I remember flipping her over. Surely I had some form of control. I wasn't unconscious for the act.

I wish more than anything she'd gone about this a different way. I've been infatuated with her for as long as I can remember... and even through what has just happened... her words in that email when she's talking about feeling afraid of telling me her true feelings... well, that's exactly how I have felt.

It seems we've both been in love with each other all this time, and the other one didn't know about it. This either makes us both pretty clueless, and both totally without balls.

Bella took the reins last night. She made something happen... in the worst way possible, and I honestly don't know how I feel about that right now. I feel like shit that she did this... that she didn't talk to me about it, because if I'd any inkling at all that she was interested in me like _that _then I could have taken action a long time ago.

I want to make this right with her, but I don't know how to go about it. I can't just swoop on in there and tell her that I love her, and that I forgive her. It takes two people to make love... fuck... have sex or whatever that was last night. I wasn't completely wasted. I had some involvement. I'm gutted beyond words that she used her virginity on me.

Bella's first time should have been special... if she wanted me to be the one to take her... I would have given her a better night, one hopefully she wouldn't regret. A night better than _my_ first time. I would have made love to her, cared and been gentle... I would have held her, kissed her, touched her the way she deserves to be touched. I would have fallen asleep with her afterwards. Not passed out next to her.

I wouldn't have rushed anything. I could have spent all night making her happy.

She deserves more.

Yet at the same time I still feel awful about how it happened.

But I can't hate her. I don't understand these feelings. I hate it. I can't ever hate Bella though. I love her far too much.

I have to make this right with her. The past several hours without her have been pure torture. I need to see her. I need to look her in the eyes and tell her how I felt about her. _Felt? Is that right? I do still love her, but last night has changed some things. _I think I can forgive her... I don't quite understand it, and she's broken my trust.

She needs to know this.

I look at the clock. It's almost three in the morning. I refresh Bella's profile. Her little green light is still telling me she's online. I hope she's still awake.

I creep quietly out of the house and to my car.

I don't know what exactly I'm doing, or what I'm going to say to her, but she draws me in. I can't leave her.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews. I cherish them all so much. I know I don't reply as much as I should, but I read each and every single one and I squee like a fangirl when my iPhone tells me I have a new review. <em>


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words – LIONSGATE – GFYS!

**Authors Note: **So the last chapter took this story to over five hundred reviews. That is incredible, thank you all so much. You guys make my heart flutter each and every time my inbox alerts me of a new review or favourite email. Never expected to get this many. I flove you all.

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><p><strong>About Last Night <strong>

**Chapter 16**

**Edward. **

I had snuck out of the house easily. No doubt I would end up hearing about it from my parents the next day; but if they heard me leave they didn't make any move to interrupt.

My drive into Forks and to Bella's street passes quickly. My head is everywhere apart from on the road so it's a fucking miracle that I end up standing by my car around the side of the white house she shares with her father, Charlie.

The house is in darkness except for a faint, warm glow coming from Bella's window. I know this to be her little desk lamp. It looks as though she is still up.

I begin to walk around to the front door, but once my feet hit the porch I remember that it's past three in the morning. I'm sure that Chief Swan will not appreciate me waking him and quite possibly the neighbourhood with my nocturnal visit.

It's been a while since I scaled the tree and up to Bella's room. It's strong, sturdy and the branch placement is perfect for climbing. I just hope that after all this time it can still cope with my weight.

I grab hold of the bottom branch and pull upwards. The poor old tree creaks a little but there is no movement. _Thank God. _I'm all arms and legs as I scramble up the trunk and somehow manage to get up to Bella's window. As always, her window is open just a crack.

I'm able to get my fingers under and slide it up a little. I poke my head inside and spot Bella at her computer desk. She's slumped down, face-planted onto her open laptop. Facebook is still on her screen, her photo screen saver having not yet kicked in, so I can tell that she's not been asleep for very long.

Plus, she really can't be that comfortable.

I carefully slide the sash of her window up, cringing when it creaked. _Please don't wake Charlie... please don't wake Charlie! _I pause and wait to hear footsteps. I hear nothing but Bella's breathing, Charlie's rhythmic snore from across the all – and my own erratic heartbeat.

I ease the window up a little further so the gap is large enough for me to squeeze myself through. I manage to slip into the bedroom quietly.

"E...warrrd... mmm, no. Dun leave meh,"

My eyes snap to Bella. She's still asleep but her face is contorted. She's dreaming. Dreaming about me and it doesn't sound... or look as though it's a good dream. Her breathing is ragged and her eyes are fluttering.

"I'm right here," I whisper. "I can never leave you, not really."

I creep over and rest a hand gently onto her shoulder. She visibly relaxes beneath my touch, her breathing slows and her expression smoothes.

I carefully put my arms around her and pull her into my arms. Her hands automatically fist into my shirt and she huddles, still sleeping, into my chest as I carry her over to her bed.

I sit on the edge and try to lay her down but she is clinging to me, her legs now curled up beneath her on my lap. She's always told me she sleeps deeper when I'm around. I've always found the same. The amount of times we've spent in each other's beds – innocently... we have become so used to each other. It's been quite a common occurrence for us to wake up snuggled together. That was until last night, obviously.

She's been right though. I've slept better too. It's like she's my security blanket. I need her.

I slide further onto the bed and lay down, pulling her with me. She settles beside me, her hands still grabbing at my shirt. Her head rests in the crook of my arm perfectly. It's like that spot was made _just for Bella. _

My head keeps telling me that I should be mad at her and that I shouldn't be here, but there is such a pull and my feelings for her are outweighing everything.

I know that I can't go off to college in a few weeks and leave things the way they are. Uncomfortable and unknowing. I need to know that everything she said to me was the truth. I need to know if she does love me – or if it were the situation that caused her to utter those beautiful words.

Because I love her. I love her with all my heart and soul.

She shifts slightly in her sleep, nuzzling her head further into me and her arm stretching across my torso and coming to rest on my shoulder.

"Edward," she murmurs, "stay with me."

Her breathing is still even. She's still deep in sleep.

"Always," I reply. The word escapes louder than I expect it to and her even breathing stops and hitches.

I glance down at her and she's looking up at me. Her beautifully sculpted brow is furrowed and her eyes are sleepy.

"Edward?" she asks in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

I don't know what to say to her. "I... I got your message. I needed to talk to you in person."

She sits up, backs away from me and leans up against the headboard.

"How did you get in? Did Charlie let you up?"

I shake my head. "No, I sort of climbed in through the window."

"You sort of climbed in through the window."

I nod in affirmation.

"You climbed the tree?" Her eyes are wide.

"Yeah. I climbed the tree."

This time Bella nods and looks at me. She nods.

"Wow..."

"Uh huh... listen... I got your message and I think we need to talk. You were asleep on your computer... you were talking, Bella. You told me not to leave you. Were you dreaming about me?"

She blushes and shrugs quickly. "I... I dunno. I don't remember. I'm sorry, you didn't need to see or hear that. You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

I scoot closer to her and reach over and cover her small hand with my much larger one. "Bella, I _want _to be here. I _want _to talk to you."

I have so much I want to get out of my system. There is so much to say.

_Where the hell do I start?_

* * *

><p><em>I have a new oneshot – I wrote it for the anniversary of the Titanic sinking. It's very different to anything I've written before and carries a K+ rating (I know, right, what's one of those!) but I'd really like it if you could check it out. <em>

_www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/ s / 8030088 / 1_

_Remove the (dot) and replace with a . and remove spaces. Failing that, please click on my name at the top of this page and check out **"An Unsinkable Friendship". **_

_Much love. _


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words – LIONSGATE – GFYS!

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note<strong>: So apparently I'm evil and cliffy. I make no apologies.

Instead I'm here with the second part of my double whammy.

This one is especially for my friend Sam. She is totally awesome and she IS the Edward to my Bella. Some of you will understand this, others take a look at my Facebook page www (dot) facebook (dot) com / eternallycullen and you'll see why. So yeah, Sam, this one is for you because I FLOVE the fact you're reading this. It makes me fangirl inside.

See you at the bottom.

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><p><strong>About <strong>**Last Night**

**Chapter 17 **

**Bella. **

Edward is here.

In my room.

With me.

Willingly.

He wants to talk to me. If I didn't know him better then I'd be expecting him to yell at me right now. His face should be angry and contorted... yet he looks... well, peaceful. Decided. He looks like he's come to a decision.

Maybe he's happy now with what he's decided and he is going to leave my life forever. But if that's the case then why would he have put me to bed.

A million and one different scenarios are flying around in my head. What is he doing here, what is he going to say.

I realize I've not answered him and he's waiting for my response. The boy climbed a tree and in my window to talk to me. I owe him some sort of coherency.

"Okay," I whisper, glancing down at where he is touching me. His skin is so hot. He's actually got his hand on mine. Touching is a good sign, right? It means that he isn't repulsed by me. "Talk to me, Edward."

He swallows and shifts over on the bed so that he's facing me; he crosses his legs, mirroring my own position.

"This morning... Bella. Do you remember what you said to me?"

I nod. "Most of it, yes."

He looks disappointed. "Which parts do you remember, because I need you to tell me again. Please, just clarify what you meant when you told me that you loved me."

My eyes snap away from our hands and to his face. "What do you mean?"

"When you said you loved me... please, just tell me again what you meant by it."

My heart stops. He doesn't believe me – or at least that's how it seems.

"Edward... I know you probably think that what I said was just some dumb excuse to get me out of all the mess I've caused... and you know, I guess that if I were in the same situation I'd think the same if you said that... stuff to me –"

"That... stuff? He cuts me off.

"Fuck... I didn't mean it like that... its more than that... it isn't just stuff, that came out really wrong."

He is staring right at me, his eyes boring deep into mine.

"I mean it, Edward. I love you."

"Love me how."

He wants me to spell it out for him. Here goes.

"You're my best friend, Edward. But it's more. For years now I've loved you and wanted you so badly to love me in return, but at more than just your friend."

He's so quiet and just continues to stare at me. I tug my hand away from his and place twist it with my other.

"I'm _in _love with you, Edward. I'm _so _in love with you that it hurts to breathe. I can't imagine what life would be like if I didn't have you. Last night... I was stupid. A small part of me thought... or _hoped _that if I got to _show _ you like... well, like _that _ how much I wanted you, that maybe you would want me in return.

Edward is still quiet, but now he's looking away from me, pinching the bridge of his nose. He only ever does this when he is angry or frustrated. This isn't good.

"I can't apologize enough. I'm such an idiot. I've fucked this up. I'm so messed up, Edward." I swipe angrily at my face, wiping the tears. I don't _deserve _to cry over this. It's my fault. I deserve for him to be angry with me.

"Bella. Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

I'm instantly quiet. His eyes are hard for a moment, but he takes a breath and they soften instantly.

"Bella... you're an idiot."

"I know."

"Let me finish." He pauses and then continues; "You're an idiot... but if you're one, them I am too. Last night was all kinds of wrong, but Bella. I love you too. I am _in _love with you. I just didn't know if I could tell you. I had no idea that you felt the same way."

He loves me. Edward actually _loves _me.

"We are both stupid... and the problem is that this proves that we don't know or trust each other as well as we should do."

I shake my head slightly in confusion.

"We tell each other everything apart from the most important thing of all. We can't have a relationship that lacks communication. How on earth can we trust each other if we can't admit our true feelings?"

"I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way." I croak.

"I know; me too. This is the problem." Edward moves closer to me so that our knees are touching in our cross-legged positions. "I feel bad about last night. I only remember parts... I know I didn't say no... and I know that I even took the lead. It's not that I didn't _want _it like that, Bella... it's just _wrong _on so many levels."

"I know... I'm a bad person."

"Shhhh," he presses a finger to my lips. His touch sets me on fire, "you're not a bad person, Bella. I just want more for you than _that. _Your first time should have been special. You should have been made love to. Like I say - I don't remember everything, but I sure as hell know that it was sloppy, rushed an-"

I cut him off before he could put himself down further. "It was with you, Edward. It was special to me. My first time was with you, and although I regret what I did... it was with you and so I can't regret _you." _

My heart melts and for a moment I realize why girls seem to enjoy these damn chick flicks so much. She was so flattering.

"Bella..."

"Yes?"

"I love you."

* * *

><p>No, it's not over. Not quite. Hope you're happy that I'm now exhausted. Night night x<p>

Please review.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words – LIONSGATE – GFYS!

**Authors Note**: Wow, thank you so much for getting me past the 500 review mark – Seriously, you lot are wonderful and I'm so happy. Just a short one from me today to let you know I'm still here. I have not forgotten about this little story.

I'm off with some very special friends to London at the weekend. We are going to freeze our bottoms off in sleeping bags and groundsheets in Leicester Square to catch a glimpse of gorgeous Kristen Stewart (you know who she is, right?) at the world premiere of Snow White and the Huntsman. It's going to be AMAZING! So Dani, Lissy, Cherie and Elaine, SEE YOU ON SUNDAY! EEEP!

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><p><strong>About Last Night <strong>

**Chapter 18**

**Bella **

My eyes widen in shock as he say's the words I've been longing to hear for so long.

"I love you," he says again as he leans closer to me. His right hand comes up to my face and cups my cheek, "I'm so in love with you that it hurts. I don't want to not be _with _you anymore. I want to know that you are mine."

I can't speak, I can't breathe and I can't even see through the tears which have formed in my eyes. I blink fiercely trying to force them away. His other hand is suddenly on my cheek and his thumbs brush the fallen tears away.

"I love you, Bella." He whispers.

I close my eyes and I know he's close. I can feel his warmth and I can smell his minty breath as it fans across my face. I open my eyes and he's right here.

"You love me," I breathe. It's not a question; I just need to hear myself say it out loud. He loves me. Edward Cullen loves me. "I love you," I tell him.

His fingers wipe away my tears once again.

"I love you." He repeats.

"You don't hate me?"

Edward shakes his head, his eyes closed. "I don't hate you. I wish things were different, but Bella, I could never hate you."

I want to sigh with relief. Edward doesn't hate me.

"If you want to make this work, Bella... you and me, we have a lot to talk about. I love you and I want to be with you, but right now I don't know how fast we should go."

"I don't care," I tell him, "as long as we're together... as long as I know."

"Okay." He moves closer to me.

"I'm sorry," I tell him, "but tell me now; will you ever be able to trust me again?

My Edward pauses for a moment, his eyes hooded. "We have to learn to trust _in _each other. If we trusted each other enough to talk about our feelings then I don't think last night... and today would have happened."

He's right, I know he is.

I shiver as his lips trace mine, but after the briefest of moments they're gone. I open my eyes in confusion.

"I do have one regret about last night... one thing I hate so much that it's killing me."

His eyes are on mine, sad and serious.

"I hate that you controlled your first time. It should have been special and sensual. I'm worried that one day you'll come to regret it."

I shake my head, "No, although you're right... It wasn't perfect... I can't regret it for _those _reasons, Edward. I regret so much but not that. The only reason it was perfect was because it was with you."

He doesn't look convinced. "You keep saying that,"

"Because it's the truth," I try and persuade him, "I am so glad I just didn't give it up to some random loser, or Mike Newton, for crying out loud. I'm _glad _it was you."

"Are you dissapointed?"

I start to wonder if perhaps the beer has given him brain damage; "Edward, please... can we not? I'm sorry but again, I'm. Glad. It. Was. You."

"I just feel like shit-"

"Don't feel shit _for _me, Edward. You _should _feel violated and you ought to feel used. But you don't get to feel bad for me. I did this. Not you."

Edward nods, his eyes lowering. I press my pointer and middle finger to his chin and gently tip his head up. "I understand if you need time." I murmur.

"I need time," he whispers, "I want you, Bella, but we need to take this slow. We can't rush into anything. I'd hate to ruin what we have... what we could have."

I nod. This really wasn't how I was expecting this to go. He isn't supposed to be being so... nice. It's a good thing though, I know that. But somewhat unexpected.

He reaches up to me and his fingers stroke down my cheek softly. My face flushes as his perfectly innocent touch stokes the fire that's burning inside of me. "Say something... say anything." He presses.

"I don't know what to say... I never expected... thank you."

He looks confused.

"Don't say anything. Just let me thank you for listening and sorta understanding... and for feeling the same way."

Edward smiles at me and brushes some hair out of my face.

"Can I hug you now?" he whispers.

"Please," I sniff as the traitorous tears start to flow again. Stupid fucking emotions.

And his arms wrap around me, enveloping me completely. He's warm, he's strong and he's protecting me. The hug is no longer one that good friends share. Our bodies are pressed closer together and I swear he sniffs my hair.

I bury my head into his chest and cry quietly. Edwards's large hands are rubbing soothing circles down my back and I'm clutching and clinging onto his t-shirt for dear life, almost as though he's either not real, or if he's going to be torn away from me at any moment.

He chuckles and I pull away from him slightly and look up into his liquidy green eyes. "What?" I ask. Edward shakes his head gently and smiles.

"Nothing... just this... everything is different now."

"It is." I agreed.

"I guess now, when I think about wanting to kiss you, I just can. I don't have to stop myself."

"I guess so." I smile.

Edward smirks and he starts to lower his face torturously slow towards my own. My eyes are still open and focused between his eyes and his lips. The pinkness of his tongue as it darts out to moisten... the whiteness of his perfect teeth. The beginnings of stubble on his chin.

His lips ghost mine for a second. "Is this okay?" he murmurs over my mouth. I can only nod before I close the rest of the distance between us and make the connection.

Our kiss is soft, it's gentle and experimental. It's perfect.

It's the start of something new. Last night isn't forgotten, not by a long shot, but he's willing to make us work.

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><p>No, the story is not over... I have some more chapters planned out. I'll keep them coming. Until next time!<p>

Rec this week - GO READ - Words With Friends by Nolebucgrl - it's near complete (just another couple of chapters!) and AMAZING. I've been reading it as a WIP and it's totally owned me. I'm also hooked on the game on my iphone (user name is the same as my pen-name if anyone wants to play) But yes, go read the story...

www . fanfiction . net / s / 6910604 / 1 /


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Authors Note:** Thanks once again for all the reviews. You are all awesome.

I had the most AMAZING time at the Snow White world premiere last weekend. I met all the cast in attendance. Chris Hemsworth is very pretty, Charlize is like a giant compared to me (and very sweet!) and Kristen? Well she was something else. She was AMAZING (I swear I'm STILL fangirling!) – I now have her signature in my special edition Eclipse book. Rob was there too but he was too ninja and we all had trains to catch home. The camping overnight in Leicester Square with my best girls was awesome too.

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><p><strong>About Last Night <strong>

**Chapter Nineteen.**

_**Edward.**_

As soon as my lips ghost Bella's, I am instantly regretting wanting to _take things slow. _There is just this weird spark between us and I feel more and more drawn to her as I pull her into my arms. I just want to lift her off the ground and carry her up to her bedroom.

No, we have to go slow. It needs to be perfect; I don't want to rush into anything. I want to be gentle with her; show her how much she means to me and take my time with her. I want to plan it out and make it special for the both of us.

Our kiss starts off soft and gentle, almost testing, our lips partake in some sort of chaste and safe dance but I can feel the pull of the electricity between the two of us. The heat of her small body engulfs me as she steps closer to me and fuses her mouth harder to mine.

My arms tighten around her and I have to gather all my strength and will power not to pin her up against the door frame.

I'm lost as her tongue gently probes ay my lips, slips through and comes in contact with me own. We are kissing and we are both aware of how much we want each other. We're not drunk or we're not putting on a performance for others. No, finally it's just the two of us and we both know exactly what it is we're doing.

And it's perfect.

Before long we're panting into each other's mouths. Bella's fingers are tangled into the hair at the back of my head as she pulls me impossibly closer to her. My hands are mirroring hers and my digits are massaging her scalp.

I kiss her gently once more as I pull away, her eyes are still closed but she's smiling.

"Wow," she breathes and I see her blush as her fingers trace her swollen lips. She opens her eyes and blinks shyly.

"Wow," I agree and reach up to her and trace her cheekbone.

Bella giggles and I raise my eyebrows. "And it's funny?"

She shakes her head. "Not exactly, it's just pretty surreal, that's all. We were just kissing and it actually meant something to the both of us... knowingly." I nod. It's like she can read my mind. This girl was made just for me.

I lean in and give her a soft peck back on her delicious lips. "Does that mean I can do this whenever I like?"

My beautiful girl smirks, giggles again and nods. "I guess you can," she pecks me back, "it feels so normal to be able to do that to you. It's not at all weird – at least not for me."

"Not for me either," I tell her as I take a step away but grab hold of her hand and lead her to the couch. I take a seat and pull her down beside me. Bella scoots closer and leans her head on my shoulder. The usual familiarity of this innocent embrace has changed and I feel the love radiating off her.

"So..." she begins and sighs deeply. "What happens now?"

I lean my head back and tighten my arm around her. "I guess we just take it as it comes? We have some time left before I have to go to New Hampshire..."

"Yeah, and it's not like you're never coming back."

"I can come home on the weekends... or you could come down, you know, if you're not working or anything." I suggest – even though I know the idea is ludicrous... with airplanes it's possible.

She shakes her head and runs a hand sweetly down my chest. "Edward, Hanover is over three thousand miles across the country. I wouldn't expect you to come back on the weekends. I mean, once you'd got here it'd only be time for you to go back again. I don't want to be a burden. You worked your ass off to get into college. I'll still be here waiting for you once you got back."

She has got to be the sweetest and most considerate girl on the planet. I'm lost for words. I open my mouth to tell her his, but her fingers are on my lips effectively silencing me.

"We can do this, right? I mean we were going to do it anyway." She whispers as her eyes dart and search mine.

I know what she's getting at, I can see it in her eyes. We had been worried about leaving each other to start this new part of our lives after high school... but that was only as friends. Now that things are more _complicated _and more _involved_, the move is going to be all that more difficult.

I felt as though I were leaving her before and now the goodbyes... or see you soon's are going to be that much harder in some ways because we'll know what we're missing when we are apart. But in some respects, perhaps it will be easier because we both know that we are going to be there for one another.

I still can't stop thinking that I'm going to be leaving her behind. My Bella is going to be stuck at home in small town Forks , and I am going to be right at the opposite side of the country getting my education.

I never thought I'd consider throwing the towel in on my education over a girl. I'd be a liar if I said that the thought just didn't enter my mind. I could stay in Forks, I could marry my girl and we could have a whole soccer team of babies.

But I can't do that. I want to be successful and I need to be able to provide for Bella... and our team of ball-kickers.

So I simply reply. "Of course we can. What other choice to we have?"

And with that she kisses me again but this time it is hard and needy. I pull her closer to me and onto my lap. Bella wraps herself around me and tangles her fingers in my hair. She tugs on me slightly and I feel the tongue trace the contours of my lips. She presses her forehead to mine. When my eyes open I see she's looking right at me.

I lick my lips and savour her delectable taste for a moment before running my hands around her waist and coming to rest on her hips. She's so close and I _really _like this position of her holding me so close between her toned thighs.

As her fingers work their way down and start to stroke the fine hair at the nape of my neck, I can feel the last of the little resolve I had, slipping. I just need to be closer to her.

"What?" She murmurs as she searches my face. She pulls her lower lip into her mouth.

"You're incredible, you know that?" I tell her as I use my index finger to pull her troubled lip away from her teeth. She blinks and blushes. Even her ears darken and heat.

"You are too... this means so much to me, Edward... that you can even consider having me after..."

"Shhhh," I stop her, "I don't want to talk about that anymore. For now can we please just focus on us? Don't dwell on the past and how stupid we have been."

Bella smiles at me. "And how blind." She finishes.

"We have been such idiots."

"I think the word you're looking for is losers," she counters.

I find myself chucking and bringing my lips back to hers and kissing her hungrily. My hands grip and her hips harder and pull her closer. I can feel her chest pressed up close to mine. There's no space between us and just like that, my control has gone. It is like it never existed.

Bella responds to me immediately and shifts against me which creates wonderful friction. She grinds up against me over and over again as our tongues invade each other's mouths. She moans softly and her hands are in my hair again as mine move around and cup her backside. She shifts once again and I swear that I'm going to come in my pants if she doesn't stop moving.

Fuck the resolve. Fuck the control. I can't do it. I need her and I have to have her. I can make it romantic... I can carry her up to her room, strip her slowly and make passionate love to her. I don't need hearts, flowers and an expensive hotel room to show her how I feel.

I don't think I can wait. There isn't enough time before I have to leave her.

We move against each other with a perfect tempo and I swear I can feel the heat through her jeans. My fingers as splayed out across her ass as I lift her against me.

"Bella," I moan as I pant hard, "I can't wait... I don't want to. I need you,"

"Up...stairs... now," she breathes between frantic kisses.

I don't need to be asked twice. With her still in my lap, I get to my feet. Bella automatically wraps her legs tightly around my waist and we stumble together towards the staircase. We don't make it far before I stumble and have to use the door frame to get my balance. I press Bella gently up against the whitewashed wood and kiss her again.

"Please, Edward," she pants.

I thrust up against her and I swear I hear something. Bella pushes at me gently but I don't want to put her down just yet, so I capture her lips once more.

Then I hear it again. It's definitely a gruff sounding throat clearing.

I don't dare look behind me. Bella's face says it all.

"Edward Cullen, get the hell away from my daughter."

* * *

><p>Uh oh... Charlie alert. Don't forget the dude carries a gun!<p>

So... over the past week I've had this plot bunny. It's been a little bugger and has been bouncing around in my head. It honestly won't leave me alone. So I've given into it, and tomorrow I shall be posting something new. It'll be drabble style, short chapters and regular updates, so please put me on author alert. I am VERY excited about it.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**AN:** Sorry for the delay... no excuses apart from I'm just a fail!

* * *

><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter 20**

The sharp edge of the door frame presses harshly into my back but I really don't care. I will welcome the discomfort right now because Edward is kissing me... kissing me and grinding up against me as he pushes me into the wall.

One of his arms is under my butt, supporting me and the other hand is on the frame just by my head and I love the fact that his tongue is in my mouth. I moan loudly and wrap my legs tighter around him. I'm glad he doesn't want to wait because I'm certain that after a day or two of seriously hot kisses I'd be combusting.

Edward groans and pushes into me frantically. At this rate I'm going to let him take me on the stairs, we won't make it to the bedroom.

I cry out as he thrusts his hips forward. I can feel every inch of him pressing against my center and I want him oh, so badly.

I tug on his hair and pull his mouth back to mine and we kiss frantically. We part for a moment and I rest my forehead on his shoulder. A flash of green catches my eye. My eyes fall on a pair of large shoes, dark pants and the rest of the all too familiar attire worn by my father.

My eyes dart to Edwards, whose are hooded and dark. He leans back in to kiss me and I try and push back a little.

Charlie clears his throat. I expect him to start tapping his foot. Holy fuck, his hand is resting on his holster.

Edward hears Charlie and he freezes, paling immediately. I push him again and this time he backs away slightly and I all but slide down the doorframe and to my feet.

My dad doesn't say a word. Edward slowly turns around meekly. I want to reach out and hold his hand. Can I do that?

Charlie's eyes are angry and darting between the two of us. His hand still rests on his gun.

"H...hey Ch... Dad," I greet as I attempt a shy and innocent smile, "you're back early."

He makes a slight _hrumph _noise and pops the button on the holster. "What in the hell is going on?"

I want to get in his face and scream '_what the hell?' _because for too long now, Charlie has been joking with me that Edward and I have these feelings... that we're more than just friends. Jeez, he's pretty much been trying to push us together for as long as I can remember. But oh no, as soon as it happens, he's against it?

Or is it the fact that Edward was just now attempting to defile me in the living room.

"I'm waiting." He starts tapping his foot again.

"Er... Chief," Edward begins as he reaches for my hand and squeezes it gently. "I love Bella, and we want to see if we can make things work as... a couple." His voice is nervous and much higher pitched than I'm used to. I wonder if he's mentally protecting his balls right now.

Charlie doesn't say a word but his gaze moves from Edwards to mine. I nod and smile, chancing a quick glance at Edward who is trying to reassure me. I squeeze his hand back.

"Yeah... I guess we've both had these feelings... and we've finally both realized."

"Aren't you supposed to be moving across the country in a few weeks?" – ahhh he speaks!

"Yes, Sir, that is still the plan. I don't expect Bella to wait for me, but I'm glad we got it out into the open before I left town. I won't hurt her, I swear."

"No, Edward. You really won't," damn stupid Charlie. I glare at my dad as he looks daggers at my boyfriend, "if you value your life, you won't hurt one hair on my precious girls head. If I see any tears due to the smallest of wounds, then I will be forced to kill you."

Part of me knows that he's kidding, but another part of me knows that for all intents and purposes, he's being serious. Charlie knows how to fuck with people's minds.

I hear Edward gulp and I'm blushing beet red again. I'm mortified that Charlie has walked in on us making out for one, but also the fact that he is standing here and pretty much threatening him. It's really the last thing we want right now.

"Well, I'm waiting," Charlie has the audacity to continue. Clearly I'm an epic fail when it comes to the bitch-face I'm giving him. I'm not obvious enough. Maybe my blush is betraying me?

"Dad," I start, "please, don't do this right now."

I grip Edwards hand tightly and look up at him. He looks like he's about to shit his pants or something. For Christ's sake, dude, man up. It's Charlie. He's known you since you were a tiny little kid. Edward looks down at me and attempts a little smile. "It's okay," he whispers under his breath.

I squeeze his fingers reassuringly, although I'm not sure how Edward trying to explain things to my father is going to help.

"Charlie," Edward starts to say as he takes a somewhat brave step towards my father and away from me.

"Chief. Swan... boy." Charlie states, glaring.

Edward doesn't falter. I'm impressed.

"Chief Swan," he corrects himself respectfully. "I'm sorry you had to walk in on that... but Bella and I have been talking, and –"

My dad cuts him off, "Didn't look as though there was much talking going on.

Edward nods. "Like I said, Chief, I'm sorry you had to see that... but Bella and I have been friends for a very long time, and we've both come to realize that we feel something more for each other."

Charlie crosses his arms across his chest. My father has known to be a stubborn old bastard – I should know, I inherited that trait from him – but I've never wanted to drop kick him across the yard so much in my life.

"Well, if that's not just... wonderful." Charlie mutters. "And you just decided this now when you're off across the damn country... you're going to break her heart."

"Er, hello, dad. I'm right here!" I remind him as I step between the two most important men in my life. "We are both to blame for this, and it doesn't matter that Edward is going to New Hampshire. I'll still be here when he gets back."

My father looks between Edward and I. "Bells, I just don't want you putting your life on hold."

I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Chief, I don't expect Bella to do that for me. If she meets someone else when I'm away then I'll understand. I don't want to hold her back from anything. That isn't my intention."

I can't help but smile. He is so perfect.

Charlie hasn't budged. His stance is still the same and his lips are tightly pursed beneath his moustache.

"Dad... things are different now, and they're not going to change with Edward being thousands of miles away. We are going to make it work... it's going to be hard, but we were going to be apart anyway. It doesn't make it any more complicated."

My dad looks pained to say the least. I don't quite get it. For ages now he's been making comments about the two of us, and has pretty much suggested on occasions that we ought to be together... and now that it's a reality, he's not so keen. I'll say it again. He's a stubborn bastard.

"I won't hurt her." Edward states. He's looking Charlie straight in his eyes and he seems cool, calm and collected. Although I'm certain that if I lean back into him, or press my hand to his chest, I'd be able to feel his heart thrum-thumping away.

"Yes, well, we'll see about that I guess."

"Dad..."

"Enough, Bells. Edward, I think it's time you said goodbye... and Bella, you and I are going to need to have a little talk."

I all by roll my eyes. Charlie does the whole _I'm watching you _shit with his fingers and walks into the kitchen. Edward exhales and I swear he looks like he's about to faint. He pales suddenly.

"Shit," he mutters and I can't help but giggle. "I should go."

"I don't want you to go," I whisper, "but I know you really should. Maybe tomorrow we can... do... something."

"Sure, we can go out... let me take you on... a date."

"A date?" I question, cocking my eye brow.

"Sure," he says with a half smile. "Isn't that what couples do? Go on dates? Dinner, a movie... perhaps a walk someplace."

Swoon. He totally wants to do this thing properly. "Sure, " I tell him, "you can count me in. I'll even let you pick me up. However, expect punishment later for leaving me to deal with the wrath of Charlie."

Edward smirks. "He's totally going to give you _the talk."_

"Oh, I know." This is going to be hella embarrassing... mostly for Charlie. I hope to God that I can tune it out and hum in the appropriate places.

I know Edward is thinking the same as me when he asks; "Please, hide a camera on the mantel, this I got to see."

I tell him to shut up and playfully slug him on the arm before tugging at his elbow and pulling him outside. He leaves me with a searing open mouthed kiss and makes me promise that I'll call him as soon as I've dealt with _The Chief. _

My heart is pounding as I watch him drive off down the street. This is happening. It's really happening. When he's out of sight I head on back into the house and into the kitchen. My dad is sitting at the table staring at his beer can. He runs his finger around the ring pull and his eyes meet mine.

"Bella, I think we really need to have that talk now, don't you?"

Fuck.

* * *

><p>Bwahaha, apologies for the cliffy. I'll try not to keep you waiting for too long.<p>

I posted a new story last week - it's PapWard and FlipElla - Chapter two is with my beta and will post in the next day or two. It's very different to my usual stuff with a very strong Bella. _The Pap Who Loved Me_ will update bi-weekly for now.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words: Twilight = Not mine.

**Authors Note:** How about some humor and fluff? I don't know about you guys, but I need something sweet right now.

* * *

><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter 21**

"Do we really have to do this now, Dad?" I ask.

Charlie takes a pull from his can and sets it back on the table and leans back in his chair. I want to scald him for rocking it just like my mom would have done to me when I was a kid. Charlie's moustache twitches and I can tell he's trying not to laugh at me. "Yes young lady, I think we do. Why don't you have a seat?"

I huff and sit my butt down at the opposite end of the table. Charlie takes another sip of his beer. I wonder if he'll let me have one? _Not a chance. Cop, remember? _I pick at the corner of the pine dining table and look up at him.

"Bells,"

I look at him expectantly. I can tell he's stalling but I wish he'd just spit it out and get it over with. As humiliating as it is, I'd like to get out of this kitchen before I turn thirty. "Dad,"

"Look, Bella...honey. I am happy that you and Edward have found each other. It's about time you two realised that you're far more than friends. I've been preparing myself for this for a long time now."

"Dad, I get it. You've been betting that we'd get together for ages."

"Well, you guys do spend a lot of time together and I'm not an idiot. I was an eighteen year old boy once. I've seen the way Edward looks at you. That boy has it bad and I know full well that there will probably be more going on than a little hand holding on my front porch."

I gulp and I'm about to say something, but my dad raises his hand and continues.

"I don't condone what you guys are going to do...okay, Bells, I'm not daft. I was a kid once and I know kids have sex. Lots of sex."

Oh holy crap, my dad said sex... twice...and referred to me being the one that would be having it. I blush furiously and open my mouth but he silences me again.

"So don't give me any crap that you won't be doing it, because I know you will be... at some point in the foreseeable future."

Oh ground, why won't you swallow me up, now please?

My father picks at the ring pull on his can and I feel his eyes on me. I can't look at him as I think I might start crying out of sheer embarrassment. "I just want to make sure that the two of you know what you're getting yourselves into... and that you're safe."

"Dad... I... I promise that won't be an issue," I start, but once again he cuts me off.

"I said don't pretend, Bella. You WILL be having sex, and I just want you to know the ins and outs of it all."

Holy Jesus of freaking Nazareth. Does he _want _me to screw Edward? All he needs is a ra-ra skirt and a pair of pompoms.

I choke and my hands fly to my mouth and I look at him. My eyes feel like they're about to pop out of my head. "Dad, I promise you, you don't need to go into all of that... Mom and sex ed sort of got that covered."

"Bells, this is just as uncomfortable for you as it is for me."

"Dad, please, just don't... this is humiliating. You can't talk to me about this," I mutter. I just want to die. What I wouldn't give for a giant meteor to land in Forks right about now. So long as Edward isn't affected. He's far too pretty... shit.

"No, I really do need to have this discussion with you sweetie, you need a man's perspective of all of this, and I don't want to risk you not knowing some vital... stuff. You know?"

If I thought I was embarrassed before, then I was wrong. This is utterly mortifying. Do I come out and tell him that we don't need the talk because Edward has already... sort of... it was mostly me... deflowered me... or do I just sit back and take it like a wo...man?

"And don't think I won't be talking to Edward about this too... if he hurts..."

"Woah! WHOH! Dad, p...please, n...no you can't do that. You don't need to talk to Edward... and anyway, how do you know it's not too late for that already?" I stumble over my words. Charlie blanches. I swallow.

"Too late?" Charlie questions.

"It might be... I... I'm not telling, because... well because I'm a grown up. I'm eighteen years old and I can make my own decisions... Edward and I are adults and we will figure stuff out on our own." I say bravely.

Dad doesn't say anything in response. He is just staring blankly into space. He doesn't even blink. I wonder for a moment if he's okay. He blinks and I take a breath. I've not killed my father. This is a good thing... I think.

"Bella... Bells. Baby. Isabella."

Uh oh. We've gone through the list of names now.

"Dad... I... I just don't feel comfortable. This thing with Edward and I. It's pretty new and although we are together, and trying to make it work, we are still trying to figure things out. I know I can come to you and talk – but right now I'm not ready. I need to figure this out on my own."

"It's just... Bells... sex... complicates things."

"I know." I tell him. _Oh hell yes I know._ "But if we are meant to be together, it'll work out. If not, then we tried. We will have to deal with that if it comes to it. But we both feel the same and we want it to work."

"You guys will make sure... that you're... that you will be safe."

"Already covered," I whisper, blushing furiously.

"I don't want any grandchildren just yet... at least wait until I'm about fifty. I'm too young to be a grandpa."

"Okay, I promise, Dad." I swear. "Careful is my middle name."

Dad smiles and takes the longest chug of beer known to man. He wipes his mouth and sets the now empty can on the table. "Good. So long as you know that if you ever need to talk or get a guys opinion that you can count on your old man. Day or night, Bells, I'm here for you. You don't have to be embarrassed, okay?" Charlie tells me sincerely.

I blink back tears. "Kay," I sniff, "I love you, Daddy."

"Love you too, kid. I know you're not a little girl anymore, but no matter what, you will always be my baby. I know it must be hard on you, growing up and becoming a woman with Renee so far away. I used to worry after you moved here that you wouldn't cope with living here with me and that you needed female company. But you have turned out so well. I'm proud of you, and of all the decisions you've made. "

I wipe away and errant tear and smile. "Thanks, Dad. And I love living here in Forks with you. It's never been an issue."

"You never talk about your mother." He points out.

I shrug. "I don't need too. Since I moved here when I was seven, my life has been pretty damn good. Mom had other stuff to do with her life. You've always made time for me."

"I just feel bad that when you were little I used to drop you on the Cullens constantly."

I get to my feet and walk around to the other side of the table. I lean and hug my dad around his shoulders. "You had to work. We had to eat, Dad. And anyways, it's how I met Edward. I've never gone without anything. You've provided for me."

Charlie smiles and hugs me back. "And you've always taken care of me too, Kid."

"Well, yeah. Someone had to get us out of the rut of eating at the diner... also I got to twelve and decided that I was sick of take out and pizza. You can thank Esme for most of the meals. She used to send them over for me to re-heat." I chuckle.

"You're a good kid. I'm so proud of you."

"You said that already, Dad." I kiss him on the cheek.

"I don't tell you often enough. I'm not very good with words, you know that."

I laugh and ruffle his hair playfully and walk to the refrigerator. "I know, old man." I open the door and my eyes search out the contents as I try and figure out what the heck I'm going to cook for dinner.

"Enough of the old."

I shake my head and pull out a tray of chicken. I'm still trying to fight the tears. This has to be the most in-depth and heartfelt conversation I've ever had with Charlie... and to think that it started off as being a discussion about my sex life.

"Whatchya want for dinner, Daddyo?"

"You don't have to cook, baby. We can go out to the diner."

I cock an eye brow. "I'd rather cook my old man up some grub, if you don't mind. Something different to steak or burgers?"

Dad shrugs in agreement and picks up the paper from the center of the table. The conversation is over and we'll probably never speak of it again.

He says he's proud of me. It's a nice feeling. He also approves of Edward and I. That's even better.

Things are starting to go right. Finally.

* * *

><p><em>Whew, so the talk with Charlie wasn't too bad. At least he didn't get into the whole "When a man and a woman love each other very much" thing. GAH... Brain bleach!<em>

_Next up, who wants some Edward?_


	22. Chapter 22

_**Disclaimer**__**:**__All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Twilight belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer._

_ I do however own a ticket to the a"On The Road" UK premiere at a film festival in London next week... and I get to spend some time with some AWESOME Twi and fic friends! YAY!_

_**Authors Note:** Much longer chapter this time...I got rather carried away and it still didn't end up how I wanted it... I hope you like it though._

* * *

><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**EPOV**

I'm actually surprised that I made it out of there alive. Chief Swan caught me pressing his daughter up against a door frame and I made it out of there with a pulse and my balls still intact. Even though I was in his house at breakfast time... after having climbed through a bedroom window in the middle of the night. Perhaps it was a good thing we moved our conversation downstairs... a door frame could have been a bed and if Charlie had walked in on that I think my brains might be splattered all over Bella's pretty green walls now.

He was clearly routing for us all along. Who would have thought?

He warned me off her to start with, making it quite clear that if I were to hurt her, then I'd be a dead man. He will hunt me to the ends of the earth and personally gut me. I get that. She's his daughter and he cares about her. I'm going to do my best never to make her cry through sadness – although I'm fully aware that's going to be damn near impossible seeing as I'm moving across the country in four weeks time.

As much as I've been looking forward to heading off to Dartmouth, I suddenly want it to be July forever and I just know that August is going to come around far too fast. Bella and I don't have enough time. She's going to hurt a little. We both are.

So I need to make the next month as special as I possibly can. We know each other better than anyone. Over the past eleven years we've spent more time in each other's presences' than she probably has with her father her entire life. Yet we have so much time to make up. We've danced around this for so long and I feel sick that I didn't tell her about my feelings earlier.

I'm going to do this properly. Tonight I'm going to take her out. Bella and I are going on our first date as an actual couple. I'll take her out to dinner and we can talk. We often go have dinner together but this time it's going to be different. It's actually pretty surreal thinking that I can reach over and hold her hand, or push her hair out of her face... or lean in and kiss her. I've wanted to do all those things in the past but have not ever dared too. But now I can.

I make it home in record time. I need to speak to my mom about things because no doubt she has realized that I crept out of the house at three in the morning. She'll be up and sitting with her morning coffee and paper, like she always does.

And she is. "Edward... you went out early, is everything okay?"

Here we go... "Yeah, sorry, Bella and I had a fight and I needed to go and see her."

My mother blinks and takes another sip of her coffee. "I don't suppose Charlie was too happy about you knocking on his door at some ungodly hour? I know he didn't work last night."

I blush. "I didn't need to knock on the door. Bella's light was on so I climbed the tree and got in through her window.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen... please tell me you didn't? If Charlie knew you were there you would be in so much trouble. You can't just go climbing through your best friends window in the middle of the night! You're not little kids anymore."

"I know, and he knows I was there... he kind of...caught us this morning."

My mom is about to scald me some more but then she stops. "Caught you in her room?"

I shake my head. "No, we were downstairs."

"Was he upset that you were there?"

I think about it for a moment. Had he been mad that I was in his house? Because I spent a lot of time there anyway... _ No, you idiot, he was mad because you were dry humping his only daughter. _"No, I don't think he was mad that I was there... more... surprised."

Mom still looks confused. She really isn't getting it. "We might have been... kissing... a little," my voice falls a whisper and Mom's eyes widen and she gasps. "Okay, well a lot."

"Y...you and Bella?" She asks in disbelief.

"Yeah... me and Bella. " I confirm.

Mom gets to her feet and walks around the table towards me. She stops in front of me. She's so tiny, the top of her head barely meets me shoulders. She looks up at me. "When!"

"It's all really weird, but sort of a few hours ago but really when you and dad were at the benefit. It's really new and we only just decided to see if we could make things work – but we're going to try. I love her so much, Mom."

She hugs me tightly, her arms wrapping around my waist. She sniffs. Bella and I declaring our love for one another makes her cry?

"Oh, Edward, I am so happy for you. I know you love her, I saw it years ago and I've always known she's always felt the same way about you... neither of you saw it in each other. You silly children."

"We both can't see past the ends of our own noses," I say and Mom giggles quietly at my _Mary Poppins _reference. It was one of mine and Bella's favorite movies when we were little kids. "But we know now and we have a lot of lost time to make up for. We know we can do this, it's going to be hard with Bella staying here in Forks and me going to New Hampshire, but we both want this."

My mother pulls away and takes my hand, leading me over to the table. We both take a seat and she holds both my hands in hers. "Edward, your father and I went our separate ways when he went off to Medical School. It was hard; I'm not going to lie to you. There was a lot of tears shed and many angry phone calls. But look, twenty five years on we are still going strong. We have two incredible sons, a lovely home and we are just as happy as we were when we were kids."

"And still as love sick," I joke and make a gagging noise. Mom smacks me on the arm gently. "I'm kidding. It's great."

"You two will have your work cut out for you. If you're meant to be together then you will get through. Absence makes the heart grow fonder but it does terrible things to the mind. You will need to be there for one another and reassure each other at every opportunity."

"I know... and I'll do my best."

"I know you will. And Bella will need to give you support too and she will also need to trust you. You're going to be so busy with school that sometimes you might not make your phone calls... or what that thing you lot like to do now... web...chat?"

"Skype?"

"Yes, that's what I meant... things have changed since it happened to your father and I... the means of communication are so much larger. It's easier, but at the same time that could possibly be dangerous. Remind, me what are Bella's plans for the year? It's been so long since she and I sat down and had a chat."

"She's going to get a part time job but she's also going to be going in to the station with Charlie and working with him on a voluntary basis. She still has her heart set on joining the academy, but they won't take her until she's twenty, so she has another sixteen months before she can start there. I think she's just going to do what she can."

"Such a shame. I know she will make a wonderful police officer like Charlie, but I honestly thought I saw her going into teaching or nursing. She seemed so keen when she was a child. People change so much."

I shrug. "She's always had it in her. She was undecided for so long. It wasn't until I got my acceptance letters through that she realized she should start coming to a decision. She hadn't applied to any schools, and it's too late now for the new school year."

"So unlike her," Mom mused. "She's usually so organized.

"I don't think it's that," I begin, "Bella just honestly felt like she was stuck. It's a huge decision and at the time, I think she thought that an extra year wouldn't hurt. She didn't want to commit to anything without knowing it was right for her." I argue with her. "I know she'll keep busy this year and I can count on Charlie to keep an eye on her for me."

"Well, I'm glad you two finally found each other before it's too late. I'm proud of you both for coming clean. How did it happen? Why said what first?"

I blanch. I can't exactly tell her what happened between Bella and I the night before. I'm sure she wouldn't be pissed at me for having sex under her roof, but she definitely would be disappointed in both Bella and myself. I'm more worried about what she might think about Bella – that and it's pretty personal. Bella might currently be getting _the talk _with her dad, I'm not about to get into one with my mother.

"We... it was pretty mutual. We were playing a game and then today... this morning, last night or whenever it was I broke into her house, we realized."

"I'm so happy for you, sweetie." Mom told me, sniffing again. "You're growing up far too fast. You're not my little baby anymore.

_How embarrassing! _I press a quick kiss to her forehead. "Shhh, stop it Mother." I mock-scald her playfully. "I gotta go. I need to shower and I'm picking Bella up at four and taking her out on a date... an actual date."

Mom jumps up and down for a moment on the spot and I arch an eyebrow. "Oh! Oh! Edward, you should take her to that new Mexican place in Port Angeles! Your father took me there last week, it was divine. And you know how much Bella loves Mexican food. You go and get yourself sorted out and I'll make reservations for you. Seven okay?"

Luckily, Mom managed to get reservations. She has friends in high places and can use her clout pretty much anywhere. They couldn't get us in until eight however so I had to see if I could get us in for a movie earlier. I sent Bella a text to see if she was okay to go out a little earlier, and we agreed that I can pick her up at three.

So a few hours later, I'm knocking on her front door. I know its cliché, but I have a bunch of orange Gerbera's hidden behind my back for her. The flowers were an afterthought and were only from the gas station near the school... I hope she likes them.

I knock and take a step back. I hear her yell out to Charlie that she'll get the door and then hear feet stomping down the staircase. She's flustered and a little short of breath when she flings the door open. She smiles shyly and steps aside. "Hey," she whispers, "come on in, I just need to get my jacket."

I want to kiss her. Can I just lean in and kiss her hello? I'm longing to have that of close contact with her again. She ushers me in and closes the front door. She makes to go back up to her room but I catch her hand and gently tug her towards me.

"I missed you," I tell her and lean in and press my lips to her forehead. "Are you okay?"

Bella blushes and nods. "I missed you too. I've been ready for hours. I was glad you asked if we could bring it forward an hour. I'll be back. Just give me a sec."

She hi-tails it up the stairs and I wait for the thud of her falling down. It doesn't happen. I'm impressed because Bella is the single most clumsiest person I'm to have ever set eyes on. She walks carefully back down towards me, her biker jacket and purse over her arm. She's wearing a deliciously tight pair of back skinny jeans and a pale blue camisole. It is pretty sexy... tight with a tiny lace trim.

"What?" She's blushing furiously as I meet her eyes. "You've been staring at me for ages. Do I need to go change? You didn't tell me what we were doing so if it's not suitable then I can got put something else on. " She blurts out.

"No, you look great. Perfect actually. I'm just hoping I can keep my hands off you." I tell her as I pull her towards me and present her with her flowers.

"Thank-" she begins but for the second time today we're interrupted by a gruff throat clearing.

"You'd better hope you can, Edward. Remember what we talked about?"

_Shit. Charlie. _I gulp. "Yes, Sir."

Bella rolls her eyes. "Dad, be nice," she scalds and grabs my hand. "I'm just going to put these in some water. Edward, come."

I allow her to pull me into the kitchen. I'm so glad she isn't making me stand in the hall with Charlie Swan's evil eye. I'm nervous enough about tonight as it is, and that dude really can put the fear of God into me. I need to start taking control of my filter around Bella.

Two minutes later, we're out of the door and in my car. Bella begs me to tell her where we are going.

I cave under her puppy dog eyes and pout. "It's nothing special... I hope you're not disappointed but we're going to Port Angeles. I've booked tickets for a matinee at the movie theatre and then we're going to dinner at _El Charro. _Mom got us a table... someone from her book-club called in a favor. Then I thought we could take a walk down to the dock or something?"

She just smiles at me.

"Is that okay? We can do something else if you'd rather?"

"No, it's perfect actually."

"You don't have to lie to me. I didn't have enough time to think of something special. I know we do this stuff practically every weekend..."

She pushes her fingers to my lips, cutting me off. "Edward, shut the fuck up. It's going to be amazing. I don't care if we've had dinner and seen movies before. This time it's going to be different and so much more special because we're _together... _ we can do things like this..."

She removes her hand from my mouth and holds my hand. She places it on her knee. "See, that's new."

I nod mutely.

"And I can do things like this," she whispers and leans in towards me and rests her hands on my shoulders. "I couldn't really do that before, as much as I wanted to."

I swallow. "Okay,"

"And we can do this, too," She presses her lips to mine. Bella takes the lead but it doesn't take me long to follow. My hands find purchase in her hair and I pull her closer and over the center console. Her tongue traces the contours of my lips, begging for entry which naturally I grant. We move against each other trying to keep our kiss as low-key as possible as I'm certain Charlie is staring out of the small window on the front porch stroking his shotgun.

I really am terrified of the man. He is one scary cop. Just saying.

All too soon it ends and Bella blushes. "It's so weird to be able to do that," she states. I nod in agreement, but with a grin like the Cheshire Cat.

"I know, but it feels good."

"It does. Now, honey, are you going to show me a good time?"

I start up the engine and chuckle. "Always."

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><p>The date is next. What did you think of Edward's talk with his mom?<p>

Let me know what you think!


	23. Chapter 23

_**Disclaimer**__**:**__All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Twilight belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer._

_**Authors Notes: **__Sorry for the delay. Been epically busy with Twilight conventions and preparation for the premiere. Is anyone doing the BD2 UK on 14__th__ November? I'll be there from 8am the day before, freezing my ass off "camping" on the streets of London... minus a tent because we're not allowed them here... VERY EXCITED!_

_Special big love to my specials... SamWard, GutterBuddy Elaine, Zoe, Dani, Skittle and all my peas. _

_Unbeta'd because I wanted to get it posted. Rec's at the bottom. _

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><p>About Last Night<p>

Chapter 23

Bella.

We don't really talk much on the ride to Port Angeles, I feel somewhat shy around him, and I think he is feeling the same – but the silence isn't uncomfortable; in fact it's electric. His hand remains on my thigh throughout the trip; only moving when he needs to shift.

Much to his dismay, I manage to jump out of the car before Edward can get around to the passenger side. He pouts at me but wraps his arm around me and holds me close as we walk into the movie theatre together. Much begrudgingly to me, he gets his own back once we arrive at the ticket booth and pushes his debit card over to the kid behind the counter before I've even gotten the chance to reach for my purse. Bella 1 – Edward 1. I cross my arms and huff in exasperation because I don't want him paying for stuff. I'm so used to splitting it with him.

"Get used to it, Isabella, I'm _allowed _to do this from now on. Tonight is about you – so please just shut the hell up and let me take you out."

I playfully stick my tongue out at him. "Well, you'd think you'd at least let me have the choice of movie," I jest, "I don't even know what is we're coming to see. It had better not be some shitty guy thing."

Edward chuckles and flings his arm around my shoulders. "You'd think I'd do that to you? I know how you'd react – Bella, I'd end up with that damn pout from you and I'll have to sit in the corner or something. I know better than that." He smiles and guides me to our screen. "Also, you have seen this movie before and I happen to know that you love it."

"Edward, I'm messing with you."

He grins at me and I know that he knows I was kidding. It takes all of my power and self control not to press him up against the sticky red wall of the movie theater.

I love this place; it's a small screen, usually reserved for special screenings and smaller movies. The seats are set out in pairs and scattered around the room. The center arm rests can be raised to make the seats into a couch of sorts – perfect for snuggling. Edward leads the way towards the back and we shrug off our jackets and place them across the back. Edward lifts the arm rest and pulls me down beside him.

Only a few more couples enter the screen, I note that they are a little older than the two of us, so I figure we must be watching a classic, rather than something recent that I've seen before. Edward gets up and says he's going to use the bathroom and comes back five minutes later with a large diet soda, some popcorn and my favorite movie snack: Cherry Twizzlers. One more point for Cullen. He's in the lead so far. I just roll my eyes at him though, he's being so sweet and… well, boyfriend-y. I can't keep getting on at him like that.

He teases me as he hands over the Twizzlers, yanking them away as I reach for them. After the third time he smirks at me and shakes his head. "Nah uh, you gotta pay for these, "

"Name your price, Cullen,"

Edward leans closer and I feel his breath tickle my ear. "A kiss,"

I pull away and turn in my seat to face him. "Oh, okay, well I guess we can come to some sort of arrangement. Did you want me to pay in full, or will you accept installments?"

"I'll take whatever you are able to afford." He tells me. My GOD he's so cheesy, but I love it. My whole body is on fire being this close to him. In the last two hours since he picked me up he hasn't stopped touching me. There is such a huge pull between us.

I lean back into him and kiss him gently on the lips. Once, twice and then again. After I pull away, Edward brings me back to him and kisses me. His tongue probes at my lips and I sign happily as I let him in. It's heated, yet slow. His hands move to my face and around to the back of my head. I'm glad I wore my hair down today as the feeling of his nimble feelings tangling into my hair and gently massaging my scalp is amazing. Edward's tongue is soft as it mingles with my own. Our mouths move fluidly, dancing together for a while until we reluctantly pull apart, flushed and panting.

Edward blushes and licks his lips slowly which makes me die a little inside.

"So," I begin, breaking the silence, "am I paid in full, or will we need to carry this on later?"

"Oh, I think that will suffice… for now."

"Oh, well, you know, I would have given you movie head or something."

I feel his eyes on me again as the lights dim for the movie.

"W…w…what are you…." He stutters. "What did you just say?"

I blush furiously. There is no way in hell I'm going to repeat _that _sentence again.

"Me? Nothing. Didn't say a word." I tell him and snuggle into his side as the opening credits start to roll, and a rather familiar song which is accompanied by a set of lips and teeth.

_The Rocky Horror Picture Show. _Fucking win. I remember the first time that Edward and I discovered this movie. We actually hid it from our parents as we thought that they wouldn't approve. Charlie probably would have freaked but Carlisle caught us watching it and singing along one time and laughed and shook his head.

Unfortunately that was during a rather loud rendition of _Touch Me. _It was fucking mortifying. Needless to say that it was watched in silence from then on, and then a couple of years later I actually discovered exactly what Susan Sarandon was actually singing about. We've not watched this movie in a couple of years. It seemed to have a totally different meaning after that.

_Rocky _was awesome. It's been Edward's best idea ever and this has to be one of my life. He's made our first official date perfect – I couldn't ask for anything better. We snuggled the whole time and yet still managed to watch the entire movie.

We have a little spare time after so Edward takes a slow (for him) drive to the restaurant. I am pretty excited. El Charro is a new Mexican place in town and there has been nothing but rave reviews from critics and townsfolk alike.

Edward tells me that Esme had called in a few tables to get us in here tonight as she remembered a conversation we had recently. I love that woman. She's epic. I struggle to pick what to eat and we end up ordering a selection of food and sharing it. It's so ambient with a small candle in the middle of the table. Things have shifted between us, massively, but it feels so right and so easy.

I never want this to end. But it's going to lessen when Edward goes off to college. It's something we are going to have to deal with and talk in depth more about, but not tonight. I can't bear to ruin the perfection.

The food comes and we stuff ourselves full of Enchiladas, Fajitas and rice. It's delicious and the service is awesome. I had been worried that we might be rushed but it was really leisurely.

Alas we finish our meal too quickly and after Edward has picked up the check… which I let him without _too much _fuss. I still don't feel great about him paying for everything tonight, but I'm going to let him have it just this once. I make a mental note to make sure he lets me at least pay some of the way next time. I'll put up a fight if I have to.

It doesn't take long for me to notice that he is once again driving uncharacteristically slowly on the way back to Forks. His hand is resting on my knee and my hand is on his. I give him a gentle squeeze and he glances over at me.

"What's on your mind?" I ask.

"Nothing, why?" Edward replies.

I chuckle and squeeze his hand again. "It's just that you're driving at ten below the speed limit and not twenty over."

"You noticed that?"

I nod and he grins at me shyly. "I just don't want the night to end. I've had a really good time. It was so nice just being able to be with you how I have always wanted to be. "

"It's been perfect," I whisper. My voice only just audible above the purr of the engine.

"You really had a good time?" He asks me sounding nervous.

"Of course, seriously, Edward. As far as first dates go – and I don't really have much to go on here, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. My favorite movie? Mexican? Damnit Edward, even down to the freaking Twizzlers. You knew _exactly_ what I'd see as a great date. It was amazing. I had the _best_ time. You have a lot to live up to, Mr."

Suddenly, Edward veers the car off the road and down a track into the woods. Once we're out of sight of the road he pulls over and takes off his seatbelt before launching himself out of his seat and over the center console. He kisses me hard until I'm breathless. It isn't as careful and relaxed as before when we were in the theatre. This time it's hard and needy. His hands fumble, almost as though he isn't sure where to put them.

"E…Edward, hold on… wait," I manage to get out between kisses and gentle pushes.

Edward is back in his own seat once again. "Shit, I'm so sorry, Bella, I wasn't thinking."

I mock glare at him and take my seatbelt off and reach under my chair and shift it back before I pull on his jacket. "Shut up. I couldn't move, it was a little one sided. Now fucking get back over here and kiss me, please," I pant.

He doesn't move for a moment, he just sits here with his sexy swollen lips gaping at me like a goldfish. I grab him and pull him over and onto me. He doesn't relent this time and his lips meet mine once again. I pull him closer and on top of me. Somehow, in this small and pokey Volvo, I manage to wrap a leg around him and hold him closer. We kiss hungrily for several minutes and his hands roam my head, neck and shoulders until I grab his right hand and place it over my breast. I needed to feel more of him. I flexed my hips upwards and came in contact with the lovely bulge in his pants. He groaned in response and his lower body responded by jerking back into mine. I want to be closer to him and I need and crave that physical connection.

Our heated bodies gyrate together and Edward's hand moves under my shirt and gropes my breasts over my bra. His fingers are firm but gentle as they nip and pluck my sensitive flesh. His lips are on my neck and throat as I move my hands down to the waistband of his jeans. I pop open the button but Edward stops me before I manage to dip my hand inside.

"No, Bella, not here… the next time we're together it needs to be perfect…"

"I want you now," I pout. "I'm so wet."

His eyes look tortured and I thrust my hips up towards him, showing him my need.

"No, please, Bella, I want you too, so much, but I want to worship you… not have an uncomfortable fumble in my car. I want to be able to see all of you and… well, make love to you. "

I see his blush in the darkness. Ugh, he's just so hot… and sexy and one million percent the sweetest person in the whole wide world… and I want to do filthy things to him. And vice versa.

I nod, somewhat reluctantly and remove my hand and place is over his heart. "Ok, sorry for pouncing. I want it to be perfect too… although, just so you know, I wouldn't regret anything that happens between us from now on. "

Edward swallows and kisses me softly. "And if I took you here, in the car, I would regret not treating you right… so please, can we wait?"

I sigh, but so happily. "Of course we can. I'll wait as long as you want, Edward, as long as it takes." Although I'm secretly hoping it won't be too long, seeing that I'm as horny as hell right now.

"It won't be long, I can promise you that."

"Good," I murmur and kiss him again. "Now you'd better get me home before Charlie sends out a search party and finds us sitting in the woods with steamed up windows."

Edward blanches at the thought of it and adjusts himself and buckles his seat belt back up. I do the same, but I can't stop watching him. He is mine. He's really mine.

It's a little after eleven when we arrive back at my house. We have a quick make out session, hands strictly on shoulders and above, much to my distaste, and then Edward insists on walking me to the door, which is followed by more kissing. The porch light is on for me – good old Charlie, but I can also see the light flowing from the kitchen, so I know that daddy dearest is waiting up for me.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Edward asks when we break apart.

"Mmmm, wish you could come in tonight."

He shakes his head. "Please, don't tempt me. I'll never leave."

I kiss him again. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, but Charlie will shoot me."

"Mkay… tomorrow… but you'll call me when you get home? So I know you got there safe and sound?" I press.

"Of course, I'll call you when I'm in bed."

"Okay… Edward, thank you so much… for… for everything. Tonight was utterly perfect."

"I'm glad," he whispers and caresses my cheek gently. He tips his head down and kisses my nose and then rests his forehead on mine. "I love you."

"I love you too… I'd better get in… talk to you later."

We kiss again, for several minutes before the light in the hallway flickers on and we are forced apart before Charlie catches us macking on each other again.

With one last smile and a touch of the hand, I go back in the house.

Everything is great. Charlie is casually leaning against the door frame with his arms folded.

"I take it that look on your face means you had a good time?"

"Uh huh! I grin as I practically skip towards the stairs. "I'm beat. Going to bed! Night Dad!" I manage to get up the staircase unscathed and before he can ask me any awkward questions or try and talk to me further.

I am so happy right now, I can't let anything get in the way of it. And I can't bring myself to think of Edward's move in a few short weeks.

No, I'm not going to let anything ruin this.

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><p>Rec's!<p>

A Life Without Me - It's only short but beautifully written. Major Angst warning. www DOT fanfiction DOT net / s / 8092381/1 /


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: As always, not mine.

A/N: Thank you to my two little special stars, LisaDawn75 for being the incredibly beautiful Wifey and best Beta in town. And to NeonBurning, who is, by far the most awesome person in the entire world – who pre-read this chapter.

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><p><strong>About Last Night<strong>

**Chapter 24**

The next couple of weeks totally suck. Edward and I have had pretty much zero time alone together. We _are_ trying to take things slow, so I guess the lack of alone time is good for something. We've not yet had the opportunity to jump each other's bones since the most perfect date known to mankind.

Charlie hasn't helped matters, either. Stupid cock-blocking dad. He's got it into his head that I'm going to end up pregnant and then not able to fulfil my dreams. So, when Edward is over, we have to remain in the kitchen or living room at all times, and he's not allowed over when Dad is working. Seriously, he's been calling the house and my cell phone regularly – checking that the coast is clear. He's a paranoid son-of-a-bitch. I wouldn't put it past Charlie to decide to take an early or late lunch break and come home just to check on _things. _I guess that comes with being the daughter of a cop...

Esme and Carlisle have been a little more understanding, but Charlie also got to them. Whilst they let us spend time together alone in Edward's room, the door remains open at all times, and they happen to walk by every so often. It really sucked when Carlisle caught us one evening with Edward's hand under my shirt after our kisses became a little more heated than they should have, even with the whole _open door policy_. That had been embarrassing. Carlisle only chuckled and told us to behave, but I was still mortified.

Their leniency, however, is appreciated, and we've honestly tried to be on our best behaviour. Is it possible to get a female version of blue balls when you've only had one real sexual encounter? Does _Blue Clit Syndrome _exist? Maybe I could copyright it.

We've spent almost every single day together, and we've done normal things, like go grocery shopping and cooking dinner, and Edward has helped me with my chores We've gone on a few dates – another movie, some lunch, dinner…anything really so that we can just be together. It's been fun, just spending time being with each other, but I'm getting more and more worried about the day when Edward has to leave. We don't talk about it a lot. We'll discuss it more nearer the time, though I can't help but dwell on it.

I want to bring it up with him because, although we know it's been coming and that it's inevitable, the last couple of weeks we have grown a hundred times closer, and I'm going to really struggle to let him go when the time comes. I know we have a connection that goes way deeper than just being boyfriend and girlfriend. We are connected so deeply as best friends. Edward is a part of me, and I am not ready to lose that.

So, it's Friday night once again – and our official date night. Charlie's on the all-nighter at the Police Department, and Edward has mentioned wanting to _get away_ for the night. I want nothing more, so I've called my good friend and the daughter of the local pastor, Angela, in on a favor. Fake sleep over, here I come.

Of course, Edward won't tell me exactly what it is we have planned – only that I need to pack an overnight bag and something dressy to wear later on in the evening. _Dressy. _That could mean anything. I don't want to go too over the top, so skinny jeans and a fitted black sweater with kitten heels will do the job

I take it we are actually going somewhere instead of defiling his parents' house with them in the building. They've been lenient…but I don't think that would go down too well, and we want to be allowed to spend all our time together before the summer is up.

I leave for Angela's at five o'clock, bidding Charlie goodbye as I leave. I've arranged with Angela to leave my truck there overnight to keep up appearances because who knows if my dad will come and check up on that. I've also told him that we will probably be going out to Port Angeles as Angela's parents are away, so it'll be a girls' night out with dinner and a movie. Charlie seems happy with _the_ _plan_. I feel like a shitty daughter lying to him, but I'm starting to crave my alone time with my boyfriend. Of course, Angela is all sorts of awesome for doing this for me.

Edward's already at Angela's place when I get there, and I quickly transfer myself and my overnight bag into the trunk of his car. We both get into the car, and before I can buckle up, his lips are on mine, nipping and pulling as his hands cup my cheeks and draw me closer to him. I'm flushed when we pull apart, my lips and cheeks tinged pink. Just a kiss leaves me breathless. I hope it'll always be like this.

"You ready to go?"

I smile and reach around for my seatbelt. "Maybe… Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Port Angeles," is his short reply as he starts the car and puts it into drive.

"I knew that much." I grin at him across the center console.

"That's all you need to know for now. What time do I need to have you home in the morning?"

"I told my dad that I'd probably be home sometime during the afternoon. Of course, he might always check on me at Angela's at some point, but Ang said she'll be out for most of the day, and her parents won't be back until Sunday, so we should be good."

Edward beams, and we start to move. I feel all sorts of paranoid as we drive through the town; I duck down each time I see a cruiser, just in case it's Charlie on his way to work or already patrolling the area. Edward chuckles and makes a crude joke about _whilst you're down there_ and pats the top of my head gently.

We take an exit off the 101 and turn down a road, eventually coming face to face with one of the nicer hotels in Port Angeles: The Olympic Lodge.

"Really?" I ask Edward. "What are we doing here? Dinner?"

Edward nods. "I...well, I booked a room for us, too, to…you know, if you wanted to... You don't have to… Or _we _don't have to, if you don't want too..."

"Edward Anthony Cullen, are you...are you blushing?" I ask with a smile as he finds a space and parks the car a little way from the entrance to the building.

"No, of course not."

"Yes... You totally are. You want us to stay in a hotel...together and all alone…possibly for the whole night, right?"

"Well, yeah, if _you _want to. You _do _want to, don't you?"

I sit back in my seat and pretend to ponder that question for a moment or two. In mere seconds, Edward seems to have paled a little, the blush long gone. He now looks concerned.

I look between my lap and The Lodge, trying to act coy before a traitorous grin takes over. "Of course, you silly boy. I want nothing more than for us to have some alone time, finally. You know how crazy this has been driving me. It'll be nice not to have to worry about being overheard or watched."

Now it's my turn to blush. We both know that we are ready for the next step; even though we've agreed to take things slowly, it was only a matter of time before the waiting became too much. Edward has also me that when the time came, he'd do it right.

"So, you're okay with this... With us?"

"For the last time, yes!" I all but exclaim and grab his hand. "I just hate that you've spent so much money on this. We can just skip the dinner part, if you like?"

Edward rolls his eyes and traces my middle finger gently. "Don't be ridiculous. I need to feed you. You're going to need your strength for later on; I can't have you fainting on me." He leans over and grips my thigh. "You can't pass out when I'm between your legs and tasting you."

"What... What? Okay, then!" I choke.

"Why, Miss Swan, I think you're blushing. Payback's a bitch."

"I...I..." I'm lost for words. I just can't get them out. So, I settle for, "Touché."

Edward leans over and kisses me quickly before getting out of the car and running around to my side. I let him open it for me, and as I get out, he grabs both of our small bags out of the trunk. He takes my hand and leads me up the steps to the front desk in The Lodge. I half expect us to get carded as we check in, but they just take Edward's details and swipe his card. I watch him as he deals with the process. He's so polite and smooth, and if his bedside manner is as good as I'm expecting, he's going to make one hell of a doctor.

_Doctor_. Summer is almost over. We only have a few short weeks left.

"Bella, you alright?" Edward asks, studying my face carefully, concern etched in his perfect features.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm fine. I just was thinking and zoned out there for a second."

He places his arm around my shoulder. "What were you thinking about?"

I don't want to ruin the moment with talk about the near future, so I smile. "Oh, not much, just about how amazing you are and how lucky I am."

"Bella, you're so cheesy. That's sweet, but I'm the lucky one."

"Shut up," I scoff. "Let's just say we're even. We're both lucky."

"And that's room 204, Mr. Cullen. Take the elevator up one floor and then take a left. I do hope that everything is to your satisfaction, but if not, please do not hesitate to dial zero. My name is Natalie, and I'm certain I'll be able to help." The pretty-looking girl at the front desk beams as she leans over and hands Edward a key card.

Edward, ever the gentleman, makes brief eye contact with _Natalie _and nods in thanks as he takes the plastic card from her. "Thank you, I'll be sure to," he says and then turns his attention back to me before leading me away to the corner where the elevator is.

"Looks like my invisibility cloak still works," I joke as we enter the lift and press the button for the second floor.

"No, she was just rude. As if I'd even look at her with you by my side."

"Who's the cheesy one now?" I ask and lean in for a kiss. The elevator pings and stops, the doors opening before our lips can touch.

Edward just bites his lip and leads me out and down the corridor until we find room 204. He lets go of my hand for a moment to swipe the card and pushes the heavy wooden door open with his foot, stepping aside so I can enter before him.

The room is pretty nice! Two large queen beds are against the feature wall, which is painted a deep burgundy color. There is a desk, lamp, flat screen and all the usual items you'd expect to find in a hotel. It's not the Hilton, but it is very nice. The bathroom has a marble counter and those cute little miniature shampoo and bubble bath bottles, and there's a walk-in shower and separate bath.

Edward sets our bags at the foot of the bed and leans casually against the bathroom door frame with his hands in his pockets. He looks like a pure vision of sex.

"You mentioned dinner," I whisper as I slowly make my way over to him and wrap my arms around his frame. "Did you make us reservations?"

Edward nods. "I did. You have an hour to get ready, and then we can head on down."

"An hour, huh?" I wonder out loud. "We could get rather a lot accomplished in an hour." I lean in and bravely trace his jaw with my tongue. He caresses my cheek softly and shakes his head. I sigh deeply and pick up my bag to head into the bathroom slowly.

"Hmm, I guess a nice, deep, hot bubble bath would be really nice. I'll be out later," I tell him. I know it's cruel to tease, and I don't shut the bathroom door totally in the hopes he'll be able to spy on me through the cracked opening.

I'm soon settling down into the warm scented water with my hair piled up on the top of my head when I hear him padding around the room. I'm tempted to call him in and ask him to scrub my back or something as cliché as _oh dear, I appear to have lost the soap_, but I don't. It's him that comes to me.

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><p>I'll try not to keep you all waiting for so long next time.<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N** – Yes, I know it's been a while but my children want feeding and entertaining. They also keep trashing my house. I can assure you that I don't plan on abandoning any of my stories – but updates are slow and will be for now. Sorry.

Thank you to the beautiful E & D for pre-reading for me. This is unbeta'd – so all mistakes belong to me.

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><p><strong>Chapter 25<strong>

**Edward.**

I swear that Bella is trying to kill me. As I perch myself on the edge of the bed I can hear her start the water and quietly hum to herself. The little tease has left the bathroom door open, and thanks to the well placed bathroom mirror, I can see the head end of the bath and a part of the counter top. I hear her rustling around and getting undressed and preparing for her bath, so I quickly unpack my clothes and dinner jacket so that it doesn't get too creased.

I hear her sigh and movement of the water as she sinks down into the bubbles. I can't help but look up to the partially open door. I can see her clearly; her head is lying against the top edge of the tub with her long hair piled up on the top of her head. Bella's eyes are closed and she's smiling slightly. _Thank you, mirror!_

If she didn't want me in there, she'd have shut the door, right?

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm in the bathroom. I look anywhere but directly down at Bella, who, under the sea of bubbles, I'm assuming is totally in the nude.

"Did you... lose something, Edward?" She asks me, and I briefly manage to make eye contact. For once, she's not blushing, so I can tell that there is at least a part of her that doesn't mind that I'm in there with her – even with her state of undress. My eyes travel the length of the tub – and unfortunately, she's very well covered with all the foam and bubbles. The water comes almost up to her neckline. Her head, neck and one foot is all that's visible to me.

"No...nothing is lost. I just got lonely out there in that big room, and thought with you, in here...also alone. I thought maybe we could keep each other company?" _Smooth, Cullen. _

"Well, I left the door open for that reason. I guess whist you're here; there is something that you can perhaps give me a hand with?"

"Did you lose the soap?"

"Not yet," she smiles. And yes, there's the blush I know and love so much. "But I guess I could lose that later. I was actually wondering if you would possibly grab that washcloth over there and give my back a scrub for me?" She bats her eye lids at me and sits up a little, her hand coming up and covering her bubbly chest.

She doesn't need to ask me again and I grab a washcloth from the counter top by the sink and the small bottle of body wash Bella has placed next to her bag. She giggles as I sit on the edge of the tub and dip the cloth into the warm water. I make sure to graze the soft flesh of her ass as I bring the material up and over the curve of her spine and to her shoulders.

I squeeze some of the body wash onto the cloth and rub in gentle circles across her smooth flesh. Bella moans and the sound goes straight to my cock. Perfect. Looks like I'll now have a hard-on for the rest of the evening.

"Hmmm that's nice. You're very good at this," she whispers to me, "you can do this more often – it's so relaxing."

"Well, make sure you don't fall asleep on me. I'd hate for you to miss dinner. You need to keep your strength up for what I have planned later."

Bella turns her head and looks up at me and I'm rewarded with an amazing glimpse of _side boob_ as her hand falters a little from his position in its attempt to hide her modesty. "You can't say things like that to me, Edward." She says. Her lip finds its way between her front teeth and she exhales slowly. "And my eyes are up here."

"I'm sorry; you just look far too tempting. You're in there, wet and warm... and you've done nothing but tease me since we left your house. I do really want to take you to dinner, but eating anything other than you is not looking too appetizing right now.

Suddenly I'm pulled forward and I crash on top of her and into the bath water. Bella grips me to her tightly and laughs. "Well, now you're also warm and wet. I'd say we are pretty evenly matched."

Gone is her shyness and she grins, kissing me hard and her fingers finding sanctuary in my hair. I can feel her entire body under me; her soft and slippery skin, her nipples – so pebbled that they could cut glass Every single perfect inch of her is touching me though my layer of very wet clothes.

"Bella," I pant between frenzied kisses, "I need to stop, right now..."

"You... don't... I don't want to wait any longer..."

She's too utterly tempting. I could quite happily throw all my plans of romance out of the second story window right this second and peel off the last layer between us and sink deep into her heat right now. But something inside me makes me stop. I kiss her once again and follow it with two little pecks on her swollen lips.

"Please... just dinner. Just eat something. Let me do this for you." I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record – but she deserves so much more than a quick fumble. I want to take it slowly and love her entirely.

"Okay, you win," she pouts and gently pushes at my shoulders. I sit back on my knees, still between her parted legs in the bath. "But you're gonna have to go, because you're not making my situation any easier." She gestures to the current _situation _that's happening in my pants and laughs. "Or yours, for that matter. Go. And hand me a towel."

_I love it when my girl gets bossy... _I step out, dripping water all over the marble tiles and lean over and take some fluffy towels off the rail. I toss one on the floor by my feet in an attempt to mop at least some of the water up. I open up another and hand it out to Bella. She stands up and pulls it to her body, smiling sweetly in thanks as she wraps it gingerly around herself. I offer her my hand to step out of the bath which she takes.

My clothes are soaked, and I'm not going to get dry until they're off. I unbutton my thin shirt quickly and begin to strip.

"I...um, I'm just going to go get changed. I'll leave you to... well." She stutters. I've just been between her very naked legs and _now _she wants to play shy again?

She takes her leave and I finished stripping and dry off and secure the towel around my waist as I try and mop up as much water off the floor as I can. I put the wet towel into the bath and hope that the maid service isn't too pissed at my little gift for them tomorrow.

I tap the door quietly before popping my head around it. "I was going to ask if you were decent... but you're far too sinful." I joke. Thankfully there is no more nudity to distract me – but to be frank, it's almost as bad. Sitting in front of the vanity, combing out her hair is my Bella, wearing a dress.

"Do I look okay? I mean I only really have jeans other than this... I can change."

"No, you look great. It was just a surprise that's all."

"I'm a girl, doofus. I know I might not look like one all the time but my jeans and t-shirts are comfy, that's all."

She stands up. The dress is short, but not too short – hitting a few inches above her knees. Its royal blue and fits nicely. It's one of those halter necked things. She looks beautiful – and so much older.

I can't help myself once again and move quickly over to her. I lean in and place a soft kiss to the top of her head. "I love you in your jeans, and I love you without."

Bella snorts in a very un-ladylike fashion and punches my chest lightly. "Behave. Get dressed. Unless you want to go down to eat in the tiniest towel on the planet...you know, I think that was one of the ones you're supposed to dry your _hands _on. It really doesn't leave much to the imagination."

Of course, they'd only given us two of the bigger towels, so I was left with the much smaller version. I shrug and she sticks out her tongue at me before turning around and facing the mirror at the vanity and reaching for her purse. I grab my clothes from where I hung them before our little wet and wild adventure in the tub and head back in to the bathroom.

Amazingly, we manage to both behave enough to finish getting ready and head downstairs to the hotels on site restaurant without being late. Bella clutches my hand nervously as we wait in the small line at the reservation desk.

"Right this way sir, miss," we're greeted after I give the Matre D my name.

Dinner is great. Bella has never been shy of food – which in a woman is an awesome trait. The amount of times I've gone out with a girl who just wants to eat her salad is bordering on ridiculous. Bella can chow down a steak or burger almost as well as Emmett can. _Not that I'd tell her that, because she'd be mortified. _We both chose to have appetizers – which we split. Bella picks out the Bruchetta with fresh tomatoes and basil. It's pretty incredible and I decide on some Mini Thai Fish Cakes. For our Entrees, Bella has Seabass with fresh asparagus. The one bite she lets me have is nice – but she likes it too much to share the rest with me. I always like to eat steak when I'm out, so have the 10oz Filet, served rare. It comes with crushed potatoes and a mushroom sauce. It's the best damn steak I've ever had. We drink soda water and talk quietly about everything and anything. It's absolutely perfect – and something I can see us doing when we're old and grey in fifty years time.

We opt to share desert. It's a Key Lime Pie and we eat it off the one fork. It feels intimate...and looks that way too, by the way in which Bella wraps her tongue around the prongs as she licks off the remainder of the sauce. My dick tightens in my slacks and all I want to do it sign the check and get her back up to the room. "You about done here?" I ask. She nods and pushes the plate with the last few remaining crumbs away.

"I was ready three courses ago, Edward. But thank you. This has been really great. I've had a great time tonight."

I manage to attract the attention of our server and she returns within two minutes with the check. I sign it quickly so that it can be charged to the hotel room account and leave a pretty good tip. Bella is playing nervously with her hands across the table from me. "You ready?" I ask and she nods and inhales sharply as she gets to her feet and pushes her chair back into the table.

"You want to head on back upstairs. We don't have to, we could...um...go take a walk or something if you wanted?" She shakes her and ant takes my hand and leads the two of us out of the restaurant. When we're back in the hotel lobby she pauses.

"Take me up to the room?" Bella asks me sweetly as the gorgeous blush graces her cheeks. It looks like she's as nervous as I am – even though really, we've no reason to be, but also I can sense her anticipation. I swallow deeply – mute for a moment whilst I gather back together and lead her towards the elevator and press the button. The darn thing is stuck up on a higher floor and it feels as though it takes forever to get back down to the lobby. She pulls me inside and presses for our floor. We watch as the doors slowly creep closed behind us.

As soon as they are, I pull her to me, not being able to take or wait any longer. I kiss her hungrily, my hands roaming down to her perfect little ass, grabbing her there a little and pulling her flush with my body. The _ding _of the elevator arriving at our floor breaks us apart, the pair of us breathing hard and Bella flushed. I thank my lucky stars that there's no one waiting to board as we exit – could have been slightly awkward.

Bella giggles and I am under the impression her thoughts are similar. I grab her hand and pull her gently along the corridor to our room. The key is in my pocket and I fumble for a moment in trying to fish it out. When I finally manage and go to swipe it in the door lock... several times, the infernal red-light-of-death appears. "Shit," I mumble and rest my head against the door. "Typical,"

Bella chuckles and touches my arm lightly before stepping under it and in front of me. She pulls the stupid keycard out of my trembling fingers and gently slides it into the lock. It turns green immediately and clicks. Bella tries the handle, and of course the door opens.

"See? She croons, "it just wanted a woman's touch, that's all." I gape at her. "Well aren't you coming in?"

Gone is my sweet, nervous little girlfriend. Literally in the space of about twenty seconds and one steamy elevator kiss she's turned into a total sex kitten. And I like it. I follow her into the room and close the door behind me and put the privacy latch across. Nothing... and I mean nothing is going to disturb us tonight. It's going to be perfect.

Bella is perched on the edge of the bed and sliding the pumps off her feet whilst I kick off my own shoes and join her, loosening my tie in the process.

"Hi," I whisper, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her shoulder. She beams at me and runs her delicate fingers softy through my hair.

"Hey," she whispers back.

I know there's definitely no going back now.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed.<p>

Until next time...


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